Thunderbear 293

For most of us, that fateful day remains in the dim but ever approaching future.

In your case, your eldest daughter, Jezabel and her reluctant husband have agreed to "take you in when the time comes" and warehouse you in the attic or cellar until The Roll is called up Yonder with your name on it.

In other cases, perhaps you have been far sighted enough to put aside enough money for full investiture in the Happy Hour Convalescent Home, a full service institution providing everything from golf to Bible study and cremation.

Naturally, there is the "Death with Dignity option" should you desire to exit with your faculties intact. This route involves becoming a Mormon missionary in Mecca, happily distributing Arabic translations of the Book of Mormon, before going down in the inevitable hail of gunfire.

Your kindly editor suspects that you will go for Option 2; The Happy Hour Convalescent Home. Good choice! All the needs of you and your spouse will be taken care of by a warm and caring staff as you gently spiral down the various stages of "Assisted living" and out the other side of "Living." There are hundreds of these institutions scattered all over the country and abroad. It probably beats living with Jezabel and her family.

Now is "Option 2" available to all members of the NPS and the other federal land management agencies (Bureau of Land Management, Forest Service, Fish & Wildlife etc.?)

You see, long term seasonals have been sort of neglected in the Retirement Safety Net.

Some seasonal rangers and fire fighters have 30 seasons of work, but no pension to show for it. Their pay, considering the hazards, has been meager. (Much of the pay is in sunsets, soft summer breezes through the pines and the chance to accumulate some really great stories; none of which are negotiable at the local supermarket.) Should they have desired a different outcome, they should have applied for a regional director's job. At any rate, they are unable to afford Option 2 "The Happy Hour Convalescent Home .

Then perhaps we should establish our own Option 2, A Home for Endangered Rangers.

"This cannot work!" You exclaim with the finality of a retired bureaucrat "How could we fund it? Where would we put this "Home for Endangered Rangers"? There is no precedent for this sort of thing!"

We must take a trip down memory lane to Staten Island in New York City with the former Keeper of the National Register of Historic Places, Jerry Rogers. We are on our way to The Sailor's Snug Harbor and the memory of Captain Robert Richard Randall.

Captain Randall was one of those good guys in American history that you've never heard of.

He was a veteran of the American Revolution and something of a hero, though not a boastful one. After the war, he went into merchant shipping and made a fortune. Along the way to that fortune, he noticed things. Among those things noted was that being an ordinary seaman was a very hard dangerous life that could leave a sailor "decrepit and "worn out" as well as "aged" in an era where "retirement " meant begging in front of a church.

Now most ship owners simply thanked their God that they were on top and the sailor on the bottom and went their way. Randall decided to do something. He would establish a "Sailor's Snug Harbor", a home for seamen who were "Aged, decrepit, or worn out".

The "Snug Harbor" was a remarkably democratic institution. There was no discrimination based on religion, color or creed or the lack of it. Hymn singing or praying was not required, and, interestingly enough there was no class or pecking order; the Snug Harbor staff were required to address each guest as "Captain" no matter what his actual rank was. The only requirement for admission was five years service in either the Navy or the Merchant Marine.

Snug Harbor was a long shot, but it turned out to be a remarkable success. Some of it was luck. The original Snug Harbor consisted of Captain Randall's 24 acre estate-which happened to be located on Manhattan Island, 5th Avenue to be exact. This provided a windfall of rental revenue and supported a move to Staten Island and the building of what is now Snug Harbor National Historic District (which Jerry can tell you all about).

At its peak, during the 1880's, Snug Harbor had a thousand retired mariners in residence.

Today, with a much smaller US. Merchant marine (and better pay) there is less need for Snug Harbor, which has moved on to North Carolina.

So, the questions are: Is there a need for a Federal Land Management Agency version of "Sailors Snug Harbor", a Home for Endangered Rangers and fire fighters?

Well I don't rightly know, neighbors. I would imagine that there are some who would prefer to be slow grilled over a poison oak fire than spend their sunset years with their fellow federal land management retirees, but since most rangers and fire fighters are gregarious types, I suspect that they would enjoy gathering around the fireplace in the evening to tell their favorite yarns after spending the day pursuing various hobbies, clubs and projects.

We would have to poll the employees, retired and otherwise, of the various land management agencies.

Now who would pay for this Home for Endangered Rangers? Well, that one is easy! It must be privately funded and be on private land. This is a health & safety issue (To avoid strokes and premature deaths among the Utah Congressional Delegation and the rest of the Tea Party types due to visions of Socialism).

Now just where would this "private funding" come from? Again, this is easy; Private donations from a grateful American public. The American people love their parks and forests, and by extension, their rangers. (Imagine how difficult it would be to fund a Home for Indigent Internal Revenue Agents!) There would also be donations in kind and in cash from American corporations that have benefited from the presence of public lands and public land rangers, and, hey! there are tax write offs for such corporate generosity.

In addition, the retired staff of Federal Land Management agencies have a unique advantage over other retirement homes in that the personnel are quite handy, with retired architects, engineers, carpenters, masons, electricians, and accountants available to volunteer their services.

You will recall that Secretary of the Interior Bruce Babbitt once went down to Great Smoky Mountain National Park with a donated log cabin in kit form, and, with the help of some volunteers, erected a seasonal bunk house in one day with time left over for beer and barbecue. Bruce might be willing to do it again.

Should you not fancy log cabins, Don Chase has considerable experience in straw bale construction.

Well, if we follow the democratic impulses of Captain Randall, just about anybody who had a long term connection with Federal Land Management, would be eligible. This would include secretaries, (including the various Secretaries of the Interior) Maintenance Personnel Administrative officers, Resource managers, superintendents, long term seasonals and fire fighters and so on. Following the principles of Captain Randall, everyone will be called "Ranger" regardless of rank.

The difficult part would be deciding where, exactly, to place The Home for Endangered Rangers. Very probably most people would vote for the West or Southwest as that is where most of the public land is located. (No, we are not neglecting Alaska,but the rugged climate, expense and distance from children and grandchildren would make Alaska an unlikely choice.

Many NPS retirees seem to cluster around Tucson, AZ or Grand Junction, CO. which should be something of a clue for decision makers, though that might not be the Nirvana for Forest Service or BLM folks. We would have to ask.

So if this sounds like a good idea, don't thank me, thank the gallant and humane Captain Robert Randall, who thought of the idea.

If you would like to discuss The Home for Endangered Rangers (including a better name) you can reach us at Thunderbear123@gmail.com

THE NON PROBLEM

That time has come. Both the NEW REPUBLIC and THE NEW YORK TIMES have come out with articles stating the obvious: That many more White people go hiking and camping than do designated Minority groups (We say "designated" because as of 2040, us White folk will be a minority in this country).

Both liberal organs seem to imply that this lack of participation on the part of minorities in hiking & camping is a problem for the NPS to solve, and what, pray tell, has the NPS done lately?

Yes, you see Black Americans do not drink Bourbon whiskey. Instead, they drink Scotch, or to a lesser extent, "Yak." (Cognac to the uninitiated)

Now, this is a non problem for most of us, but if you are the producer of "OLD HORSE BLANKET" bourbon whiskey, this is a marketing problem of deadly importance.

If "OLD HORSE BLANKET" could crack the huge and lucrative African American market, you and your descendants will be driving Lamborghinis for the foreseeable future.

I don't know. Maybe it just tastes bad and the Blacks noticed it. Anyways, not my problem.

Some do. Others don't see the necessity of it. Reminds me of the Story of a British banker in Hong Kong who invited a Chinese banker friend to lunch and to watch the Englishman play tennis, a game the Chinese banker had never witnessed. After the game, the Englishman asked the Chinese what he thought of tennis.

The Chinese gentleman reflected a moment and said "If it is necessary that such work be performed during the heat of the day, would it not be more cost effective to hire two coolies to do it?"

Some, but not all Blacks may feel that it is faintly ridiculous to avoid an air conditioned automobile and hotel room in favor of being rained on, attacked by insects and potentially struck by lightning. (This wisdom is also shared by a considerable number of Whites.)

On the other hand, rejection of camping & hiking should be based on personal choice (like Scotch or Bourbon) rather than by lack of choice in the matter.

We have had only one officially segregated national park. That would be Shenandoah .

Lest a Black visitor to Shenandoah be confused in the matter, his/her part of the park was spelled out with the familiar NPS brown sign with the routed white letters that said LEWIS NEGRO AREA. Separate, but sort of equal, the Lewis Negro Area had its own Black waterfall, hiking trail AND campground. (The Southern humorist, Harry Golden observed that in Southern racial etiquette that the races could mingle as long as the Negro remained vertical but if the Negro sat down or laid down, then segregation was required, hence the need for a Negro campground and picnic tables.)

According to Ranger Kandace Mutter of Shenandoah, there were 30 tent/trailer sites at Lewis Mountain and around 10,000 African Americans visited the park each year, about one percent of the total visitation. The Lewis picnic area hosted one enormous church picnic, on August 17, 1939, serving 385.

Shenandoah was desegregated by 1950, more than ten years before the rest of Virginia.

Not to put a happy face on something so vicious as segregation, but the Lewis campground may well be the first recognition of the Black American's desire to camp.

Few White Americans realize how difficult and dangerous automobile travel was for Black Americans in the early to mid 20th century.

To get some idea, one should google up "The Negro Motorist's Green Book and Travel Guide: Vacation and Recreation without Humiliation."

This guide was published between 1936 and 1966 and helped Black people motor through rural America without being murdered.

Generally speaking, the Black traveler of that time was not interested in communing with Nature with his White brothers, but rather in safely getting from one African American population center to another or to a resort that catered to Black people.

"Climbing the mountains to get their good tiding" was more likely to result in an encounter with a Cliven Bundy type than a John Muir type for our Negro traveler.

Although the editor of the Green Book was delighted to go out of business in 1966 with the passage and enforcement of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, there is a residual tendency among African Americans to avoid remote rural areas and that includes most wilderness national parks.

Your kindly editor, The Christian Bureaucrat, has always endorsed Bartleby's dictum of "I prefer not to".

If someone does not want to do something, and that lack of participation does not damage the rest of the tribe, then it is the essence of democracy to allow the person to say "I prefer not to". This would include visiting national parks or military service, no matter how uplifting and character building we might regard these activities to be.

On the other hand, it can be said that lack of knowledge is lack of choice, and thus a form of discrimination.

Therefore it might be wise to make Outdoor Education an integral part of every schools curriculum This would include hiking, boating and overnight camping so that these activities would not seem so dangerous and exotic to inner city kids and they might carry them over into later life.

Since national parks are pretty much a middle class idea, it might also be a good idea to see that the vast majority of Americans become middle class. Things do not seem to be moving in that direction.

THE SAFETY MESSAGE

That is, you may not be given the choice in the matter of canine interaction. This point was vividly driven home to your editor during a recent walk in the local park.

Now neighbors, "A walk in the park" is one of the great clichŽs in the English language. It means "absolutely safe, nothing can go wrong, routine; you can relax completely."

I had just completed the first mile of my four mile daily walk through the Wheaton Regional Park which adjoins our house when I encountered the Dog People.

They were a male and female in their mid twenties, of Middle Eastern or Southeast Asian origin. They had dogs on leashes. The gentleman had a medium sized mixed Rottweiler. The lady had a brindle pit bull.

Now the spooky thing about pit bulls is that they often attack silently, without the preliminary barking, growling, or dancing around that one associates with an aggressive dog.

Such was the case with Park Ranger Ron Mackie of Yosemite. Ranger Mackie was talking with a family at Tuolumne Meadows when the family pit bull seized his hand without warning.

It was not a friendly handshake. Three of the animal's teeth penetrated the skin, drawing blood.

Now many "responsible" pit bull owners carry a tool called a "breakstick" for just such occasions. It is inserted behind the dog's molars and is used to pry open the jaws of the family pet so as to release mailmen, children, other dogs, or hapless park rangers from its grip.

Unfortunately, the pit bull owner did not have a "breakstick" handy and it looked for a moment like Mackie would spend the rest of his career with a pit bill attached to his left hand.

Fortunately, the owner was able to negotiate with his pet from hell and the dog reluctantly released Ron. The owner of the pit bull stated that "He had never done this before"; a phrase that is sort of the mantra or national anthem of pit bull owners.

Ranger Mackie politely suggested to the owner that he might reconsider possession of such an animal.

In my case, a "breakstick" was not required as the pit bull had attached himself at the wide part of the hip and thus even with famously wide and powerful jaws, did not have the purchase and leverage to hang on and inflict serious injury (Not for lack of trying, however; he did manage a nasty contusion as you can see.)

Breaking free of the dog and retreating beyond leash range, I shouted. "YOUR DOG BIT ME!"

The couple took that bit of news with great equanimity, smiled sheepishly, and continued walking. I ordered them to stop.

The male told his partner to run for it, and they took off with their two dogs with your kindly editor in limping pursuit (In retrospect, from a safety standpoint, it was probably best that I did not catch up with two strangers and their attack dogs.)

I decided to call the police, though I realized the wisdom of the late Maya Angelou's response to a liberal interviewer on the subject of gun control and police response to violence.

According to that great Black poet, writer and educator:" Police are the historians and archeologists of crime. They do reports. They will arrive long after your 911 call has been logged and you are dead on the floor. You must be able to protect yourself." ( The embarrassed liberal interviewer did not inquire after the make and caliber of Ms Angelou's protection.)

Maya Angelou was correct; you must be your own savior, but my main interest was in laying down a paper trail of statistical evidence that could provide support for controlling these animals and their owners; such as requiring special licensing, insurance, training, muzzles, and possession of a breakstick when the pit bull owner and his infernal pet are out and about.

Should pit bulls be banned? Mercy, no! Are you some kind of communist? One's pet is .an extension of oneself! Should you desire to walk your pet Komodo dragon down New York's Fifth Avenue, who I am to stop you as long as it's on a leash? Perish the thought of anyone inconveniencing a pit bull owner! (Although Queen Elizabeth II is the world's foremost dog lover, her Kingdom has banned pit bulls).

In addition to the mantra of "He's never done this before!" Pit bull fanciers will also tell you that there is "No such thing as a bad pit bull; only bad pit bull owners."

This is not entirely true: Although Michael Vick was not exactly the St. Francis of pit bull owners, the breed itself has some inherently dangerous characteristics.

There are reasons why the U.S. military uses German Shepherds rather than French Poodles as its main K-9 component. Unlike cats, dogs are a very malleable species; certain traits can be brought forward through generations of breeding with the desired trait in mind. For example, you can play "fetch" all day long with a Golden Retriever and it will be giddy with happiness; being allowed its genetic destiny free rein. On the other hand, if you throw a stick and yell "fetch" to a Great Pyreneese he will give you the same look as Albert Einstein if you gave him that command.

Just as German Shepherds have certain traits of use to the military, Pit Bulls have certain traits of interest to dogfight fanciers.

Later that day, Officer Williams of the Maryland National Capital Police took my report in a sympathetic manner and advised me that the Montgomery County dog bite person would also like to talk to me on the subject of Rabies (an interesting thought) Officer Williams was most professional, but Maya Angelou was correct, he was a historian of violence; the task of actually preventing future violence would be up to me.

Not as rare as you might think. A few weeks after my incident, a Maryland state trooper had a run in with a pit bull. She was responding to a report of an unconscious man in a house. As she entered the house, she was attacked by the resident pit bull. She struck at it with her baton, the dog seized the baton and wrested it from her hand. Dropping the baton, the pit bull resumed the attack, biting the trooper on the foot. The trooper then drew her pistol and shot the dog. Neighbors said that the pit bull had bitten others in the past. Earlier this July, another Maryland state trooper killed a pit bull in an unrelated incident.

"While pit bulls make up only 6% of the dog population, they are responsible for 68% of dog attacks and 52% of human deaths since 1982."

A Center for Disease Control (CDC) report on dog bite fatalities from 1978 to 1998 confirms that pit bulls are responsible for more human deaths than any other breed.

So how does one defend against pit bull or other large aggressive dogs while walking in the park, be it Yosemite or my own Wheaton Regional Park? (One must avoid looking like the village sociopath, so carrying a baseball bat, machete, or sawed off shotgun is out of the question.)

One suggestion is the use of trekking poles while walking in the park or on a trail. They are a good defensive tool, certainly better than your hand or arm, and can be quickly deployed. You will recall that the pit bull was able to wrest the baton away from the state trooper, but you will have the advantage of two poles, and they are pointed for jabbing.

The above scenario is predicated on the prompt arrival of the "responsible" pit bull owner who will get his pet under control.

But what if the pit bull owner is nowhere to be seen, or worse yet, is amused by your predicament? (A significant proportion of pit bull owners have felony police records as these dogs are often used as referees in drug deals or participants in illegal dogfights.)

A pistol is probably not a good idea. You may win but you will lose (I can write the headline for you: "PARANOID OLD MAN SHOOTS CHILD'S PET "Bruto was the sweetest dog ever, and wouldn't hurt anyone" wept little Sara Lee as she...")

So, if we agree with Maya Angelou that we are responsible for our safety, what's left?

Now bear spray or pepper spray has been so successfully marketed as a deterrent against Grizzly bear attack that people think that Bear spray will work only on bears.

Actually, according to George Hyde, manufacturer of the bear spray COUNTER ASSAULT, "Bear spray does work on all lunged animals with eyes. Most people use the smaller OC-10 fogger for dogs, but if volume is an issue, bear spray is the option."

A number of years ago, the National Park Police picked up the Director of the Bureau of Land Management for driving while drunk, a not unusual condition in party time Washington DC. Now as the Director was a political appointee (Reagan) and had not injured anyone, the Park Police had the discretion of treating the incident as an "intervention" rather than an arrest, taking the politician to the station and summoning an aide or relative to drive him home.

Mrs. BLM had apparently been at the same party as her husband and was as drunk as he was. In addition she was nearly as large and powerful as a mama grizzly.

To their horror, she kept right on coming, right through the streams of pepper spray, tossing officers aside like Godzilla.

Fortunately, you will be using the bear spray on pit bulls, not politicians. (pit bulls, whatever their shortcomings do not use drugs or alcohol and thus are quite sensitive to pepper spray.)

So where do you get bear spray? Amazon.com will sell it to you, or you can go directly to the manufacturers, or, you can do as I did and buy it your local REI for around $45 plus tax.

How should you carry it? Veteran backcountry ranger George Durkee suggests the forward strap of your daypack, cross drawing with your dominant hand.

As for myself, I am planning a trip to New York City and hope to explore Central Park with my bear spray attached to the shoulder strap of my day pack. Sooner or later, I will be able to supply the punch line to an old joke:

"But there are no Grizzly bears in Central Park" says the incredulous New Yorker.

PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS: A TRUE STORY OF FAITH AND MADNESS

There is something about National Parks that attracts dangerous cults and crackpots.

There was the Synanon organization outside of Point Reyes National Seashore, Charlie Manson's "Family" in Death Valley National Monument, Clare Prophet's "Church Universal &Triumphant' on the boundary of Yellowstone National Park, and the latest, The "Pilgrim Family" in Wrangell-Saint Elias National Park.

Well, one might believe that evil people as well as the virtuous need beauty and inspiration in their lives and that John Muir's "Climb the Mountains and get their good tidings" applies to cult members as well as to the Sierra Club. (Naturally, being human, evil people do not consider themselves evil; that is our job description for them.)

Then there is the more obvious explanation: National Parks and wilderness areas are seen as a "good place to hide out" by outlaws because they are remote and "There aint no law out there."

There is, of course, that commodity being supplied by the commissioned rangers of the National Park Service, an outfit that has surpassed even the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in variety of law enforcement skill sets and exotic assignments to become one of the premier law enforcement agencies in the world.

That bit of information is unknown to your average lunatic, sociopath, or common crook as the NPS chooses to downplay the law enforcement responsibilities and capabilities of its law enforcement staff. The NPS does not want to alarm park visitors with a heavy police presence. (The law enforcement downplay has been so effective that it has taken some time to convince the normally astute reporters of major American media that commissioned park rangers really ARE federal cops, just like the FBI and can shoot you dead if the situation warrants!)

PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS by Tom Kizzia, a reporter for Alaska's Anchorage Daily News, tells the story of one such cult that migrated from the Sangre de Cristo Mountains of New Mexico to Alaska's Wrangell-Saint Elias National Park and their confrontation with the NPS.

Kizzia vividly describes how Robert Hale, the son of an FBI agent, drifted into the drug and commune culture of the '70's with the "accidental" death of his first wife along the way as he transformed himself into "Papa Pilgrim", leader of an apocalyptic Christian cult, consisting of himself, his remarkably passive wife and their 15 children.

Now Papa didn't preach: Unlike most cults, the Pilgrim Family did not seek converts. They kept strictly to themselves, hermetically so. The children were "home schooled" but kept illiterate and warned that strangers were an evil source of temptation to be avoided. Papa Pilgrim was the Light & the Truth. Discipline was Old Testament, enforced with a braided leather whip.

The family, "settled", if that is the word, in the wilds of New Mexico's Sangre De Christo Mountains, surviving through various odd jobs, poaching big game and "borrowing" livestock, tools, and other necessities from neighboring ranchers. After a decade of this, the family wore out their welcome and emigrated to Alaska, the fabled "Last Frontier."

After testing the waters in various parts of Alaska, the Pilgrim Family arrived in McCarthy, Alaska, gateway to Wrangel-St. Elias National Park. They had purchased a 430-acre mining claim inholding miles some 70 miles within the park boundary and 13 miles from the inholding town of McCarthy.

At McCarthy, the Pilgrim Family Cult were greeted by members of a much larger cult, The Frontier Cult, which stubbornly denies the end of the free wheeling wilderness frontier in which a man and his family "tamed" said wilderness matching their skill and fortitude against nature and the various hostile Native American tribes. (As the hostile Indians had inconveniently gone extinct, the Federal Government and its various tribes of bureaucrats prove a viable substitute as Lurking Villains for the Frontier Cult. )

Although the Frontier Cult has flecks of anarchism and stretches expansively from Edward Abbey on the Left to Sarah Palin on the Right, the main emphasis is self- sufficiency, a small, very local government and a paranoid suspicion of the Federal Government. The Pilgrim Family Cult and the Frontier Cult appeared made for each other when the Pilgrims showed up.

The Pilgrims arrived in two beat up trucks in the dead of winter. They made an immediate good impression on the Frontier Cult. They were dressed in buckskins or 19th century rural clothes that they had made themselves. They were also skilled country folk musicians, each Pilgrim playing an instrument and singing. They announced that they were neighborly and would help their fellow frontiersmen in any project that needed doing, as long as it didn't involve helping that pesky Federal government.

The immediate problem for the Pilgrims was accessing their property within the National Park. The ANILCA legislation that established Wrangel-St. Elias and other Alaska parks was most generous in allowing subsistence hunting and "reasonable and prudent" access to the mining claims and other inholdings within the parks.

Indeed, the cordial Chief Ranger of Wrangel-St. Elias, Hunter Sharp, was soon on hand to welcome the Pilgrims to Wrangel-St. Elias and to discuss with Papa Pilgrim the best way to access his property in an environmentally friendly manner. Ranger Sharp's overtures fell on stony ground. Pilgrim was not inclined to discuss the matter of access. He would solve the access problem the Alaskan Way.

The "Alaskan Way" was for Pilgrim to drive a bulldozer 13 miles through parkland without consultation and certainly without permission. The NPS decided to blockade the Pilgrims until damages could be assessed.

Needless to say, the Frontier Cult in McCarthy was delighted! This was truly the Alaska Way of sticking it to the Feds! The town newspaper began to do fawning articles on the Pilgrims. This attracted investigative reporter Tom Kizzia of the ANCHORAGE DAILY NEWS who began to investigate.

The story of the Pilgrims went viral in Frontier Cult and Right Wing circles not just in Alaska but nationwide. The private land rights guru and NPS nemesis Chuck "Rent a Riot" Cushman took up the cause of the Pilgrims using the photogenic and musical family as poster children for the land rights movement. Cushman was able to schedule a musical tour for the Pilgrim family that drew critical raves for the "Wilderness Family."

Frontier Cult members who owned planes decided to break the NPS blockade by flying in supplies to the Pilgrim Family. The NPS appeared to be on the bully side of a David & Goliath confrontation. A blog called "War in the Wrangell's" began dredging up past and present NPS controversies. Things did not look good for the agents of "America's Best Idea"

In the gripping first chapter of PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS, Kizzia describes how Pilgrim's eldest daughter, Elishaba and her younger sister made a daring and harrowing escape from the Pilgrim inholding, on a snowmobile. Upon reaching safety, she told her story to the Alaska State Troopers.

It seems that Papa Pilgrim was a sexual predator who committed serial rape and incest on the 29-year-old Eliabesha and was grooming 15-year-old Hosanna for a similar fate. He was also a sadist who tortured and otherwise abused his wife and the male members of his family. Pilgrim was captured, tried, convicted and sentenced to prison where he died six months into his 14-year sentence.

The NPS was vindicated and Chuck Cushman and other extreme land rights advocates wound up with egg on their faces for unknowingly supporting a monster.

So, would you like PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS? Perhaps. Tom Kizzia tells a rattling good yarn outlining the story of a sick, tortured family and its sociopathic leader. He, in my opinion, does less well in describing the response of the NPS. His descriptions of various NPS staff members as well as NPS reactions to events are curiously one-dimensional.

Part of the problem is that Evil is often more interesting than Good (Plus the fact that the Service pays its staff members to be effective, not colorful.)

Kizzia, on the other hand, is writing about a fascinating, evil madman, not trying to provide a government manual on the correct agency response to insanity.

So was Kizzia fair? Did he slight the NPS point of view? Did he tend to favor the Alaskan frontier point of view?

"When in doubt, ask a ranger!" So that's what your reviewer did: Here is what they said:

"I regard the book as neither a well-researched work, nor a responsible piece of journalism. At best, I can classify it as an opinion piece. While it may chronologically be on track, it is from one person's and one side's perspective and lacks balance. ...I can never forgive "those people" for the lies, calumnies, hostility, and down right nastiness to which they subjected the park and its staff...Everything that the park staff did in managing the Pilgrim situation, as far as applying park, NPS and Federal regulations and policy, were upheld by a succession of courts and judges.
-----Gary Candelaria, former Superintendent, WRST

"I have read Tom Kizzia's book and enjoyed it very much...It is always disconcerting to read about yourself as seen by others. I expect that Gary and I both do not see ourselves accurately reflected in the book, but then again, we did not write it...Gary did a fine job in a climate where extremists were getting a lot of publicity for bashing the NPS.

As for the "Alaska Frontier Cult", Kizzia probably cuts the Kenyon-Rowlands group some slack because he, like a lot of Alaskans, were startled when the park was assertive in the face of local vocal government haters...Even though Kizzia makes a lot of his wife's environmental credentials, he was not an NPS supporter during the incident, but at the same time his stories were not hostile either."
------Hunter Sharp, former Chief Ranger WRST

"I think Tom Kizzia did a good and fair job reporting, and I think what you call "flat" is just a non-biased view. Kizzia has to live in Alaska and has a house in the community, so he treads a fine line. I don't think he needed to be partial to the NPS, just fair, and in my opinion, he was fair. I was the Chief of Natural and Cultural Resources for the park and was out on the field survey and the tension was palpable. The Alaskan frontier mentality is real and in some ways an accepted part of the park. Alaskan parks are really different."
------Devi Sharp, former Chief of Natural and Cultural Resources, WRST

"I do feel that the events described in PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS are quite accurate. My wife and I were involved in a private property rights dispute with Robert Hale (Papa Pilgrim.) This was a very difficult time for everyone involved.... This may account for the description of NPS employees sounding "flat and one dimensional". I guess the other thing could be that the descriptions of most people seems pretty bland compared to Robert Hale."
------Stephens Harper, Ranger, WRST

So there you have it, neighbors: time to ankle down to your local public library and get a copy of PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS and form your own opinion.

CLIVEN BUNDY

Briefly, a freeloading Nevada rancher, Cliven Bundy, will not pay his grazing fees nor get his cattle off public land (BLM and NPS) near and in Lake Mead National Recreation Area. He owes around one million dollars in back grazing fees.

Why won't he pay? Now most rent deadbeats have an excuse of some sort; illness, lost job, funeral expenses, and so on. What's Bundy's excuse?

Well, it seems that Mr. Bundy is a patriot. He is standin' up for the "frontier rights of our pioneer forefathers to defy a dictatorial Federal government".

That non-payment of grazing fees was sort of a First Amendment Protest against the idea of the Federal Government owning public land.

It seems that, according to Bundy, his pioneer ancestors grazed the land back in the 1870's. They neglected, however, to obtain title to the land and therefore the Bundy clan, including Cliven, has not paid taxes on the land. Now in most English speaking countries, paying taxes on a piece of property is one of the signs that you own it. Cliven Bundy seems to have skipped that detail.

Actually, what Cliven Bundy seems to own is a quarter section of land, about 160 acres, which, according to television Channel 8 in Las Vegas, which took the time to check the Clark Country land records, was purchased by the Bundy family from a private party in 1946. This 160 acre "home ranch" allowed the Bundys to lease (not buy) adjoining federal desert grazing land in the 1950's for famously low rent per animal unit (a cow and her calf) of $1.35.

Naturally, Bundy's self-inflicted predicament has attracted the attention of the Frontier Cult, that unhappy band of fanatics who claim that any authority beyond the local county sheriff is unconstitutional and wicked.

The BLM and NPS found themselves facing an armed mob consisting of not very tightly wrapped individuals equipped with automatic weapons and a trigger finger twitch away from a bloody massacre.

Indeed, the most chilling boast of these "militias" was that they planned to place women and children in the front ranks and in the line of fire to assure maximum "atrocities" by the rangers.

Cool and disciplined judgment on the part of the BLM and the NPS dictated a tactical withdrawl on the part of the federal rangers and the release of his trespassing cattle.

Naturally, Bundy and his militia crowed "Victory!" and just as naturally, Senator Reid, in his trademark Peter Lorrie voice, whispered that "It's not over yet!"

Every loose nut in the US that wasn't securely bolted down, began to slide toward southern Nevada.

Very soon it became obvious that the "well regulated militia" part of the Second Amendment isn't working very well; the militia members were pointing guns at federal officers. Indeed, the left leaning blogger Thom Hartman asked "If you point a gun at a park ranger on the Washington, DC mall, the Wrath of God will descend upon you. Why is this different?"

Why indeed? Obviously, as noted, the withdrawal was tactical as the rangers were outnumbered and outgunned.

The spread of these right wing militias constitutes an existential threat to the safety of every federal land management employee, including you.

You are a park ranger at Backwoods National Monument in one of the Retarded States. You are enroute to J. Edgar Hoover Elementary School in Boogerville to deliver an illustrated Nature talk entitled "Our Furry and Feathered Friends of Backwoods National Monument". You are in uniform including the Smokey Bear hat. You are driving a government vehicle marked with the familiar arrowhead symbol of the National Park Service. You stop for a red light at Boogerville's only traffic light. A battered pick up containing Jed and Lenny and a full gun rack, pulls up beside you.

You see, Jed and Lenny are members of the Boogerville Militia and they just attended a training session where the topic of discussion was "Ain't it awful how them Jew environmentalist Feds are tryin' to take pore Mr. Bundy's cattle?"

Instead, he yanks a real shotgun off the rack, points it at you in a most realistic manner and yells:

And you are only a moron trigger squeeze away from presenting your nature program to Jesus and the Heavenly Host rather than the intended audience.

In a sense, they have always been with us; people who believed that no matter how hard they tried and no matter how much they played by the rules, the deck was always stacked against them by a shadowy conspiracy that "controls everything".

Just who or what is this "conspiracy"? Sort of depends on which century you're in, neighbors. The conspirators could be the Jews (All time favorites!) or the Freemasons or the Pope, and his crafty minions, the Jesuits, or the Rockefellers, or the communists, or the environmentalists or the dread Federal Government. It really doesn't matter to paranoids.

Now most constitutional scholars interpret the "Well regulated Militia " as the 18th century version of today's National Guard; an inexpensive way of providing military muscle for temporary, light duty tasks, such as putting down riots, dealing with Indian raids and supplementing the small professional regular army. It was never intended as a guerilla counterweight to the Federal Government; (that's the "Well Regulated" proviso; and it was assumed that such militias would be on our side and not on the side of backwoods sociopaths)

Fortunately, due to Washington's astuteness, that is pretty much the way things worked out.

Due to its name, and the few casualties (around 4-5 killed) the Whiskey Rebellion of 1794 has always been treated as farce; with lovable, mischievous hillbillies outwitting the federal revenooers. Even Jefferson thought President Washington had overreacted; "Using a hammer to kill a gnat" was the way the "Sage of Monticello" put it.

Washington knew better. Nothing happens in a vacuum . The French Revolution was finishing its bloodiest stage, the Reign of Terror, led by a former lawyer by the name of Maxmillian Robespierre. Max believed that mindless violence, that is, Terror, had a "purifying" effect on the Revolution; a belief shared by later luminaries such as Joseph Stalin, Chairman Mao, Pol Pot, and, of course, Mr. Baghdadi of ISIS.

The French Reign of Terror lasted eleven months and killed around 44,000 people, mostly by guillotine (2, 639 in Paris alone ) but also by an even more horrible device known as "The Drowning Machine", which could accommodate 25 or more victims at a time.

Washington's best friend, the Marquis De Lafayette and his family were swept up by The Terror. He was imprisoned for five years and his wife saw her mother, her grandmother and her sister go to the guillotine; her likely fate until rescued by future president James Madison, probably at Washington's order.

Washington also knew that there were French revolutionary agents in the United States, interested in various projects. There were also homegrown opportunists ready to take advantage of any unrest. One such person was David Bradford. He was an acolyte of Robespierre and believed heartily in the precepts of the French revolution, particularly the part about the guillotine and ruling class.

Bradford was a charismatic leader, a lawyer like Robespierre, and much smarter than Cliven Bundy. Although the excise tax on whiskey had stirred up the frontier farmers, the truth was that the American Revolution had not brought the prosperity that many people had expected. There were a lot of dirt poor people with nothing to do. Indeed, a mob of 7,000 marched on Pittsburg. Few if any of them had a whiskey still or an interest in excise taxes, but they all had a grievance of some kind or another.

Bradford confidently told the mob "We will defeat the first army that comes over the mountains and take their arms and baggage."

It was 13,000 men strong; cavalry and artillery as well as infantry, and commanded by George Washington himself.

The local Jacobins and frontier terrorists gulped and suddenly remembered they had chores back on the farm, leaving Bradford somewhat lonely.

Nobody's fool, Bradford took off down the Ohio River to the Mississippi and Spanish Louisiana, beyond the reach of American law.

Your editor sort of expected Cliven Bundy to do the same; that is, self-deport by "lighting a shuck" for the Canadian border.

After all, he had, according to most witnesses, including Clark County sheriff Doug Gillesipie, attempted to disarm commissioned federal law enforcement officers, among other seditious activities.

Instead of running, Mr. Bundy just sat there in Bunkersville, fat, dumb, and happy under the (hopefully) erroneous belief that he and his militia friends had won. Granted, he has some reason for that conclusion, the BLM and the NPS had backed off, no one was arrested, and Bundy's cattle were released to continue overgrazing the fragile federal landscape.

The right wing militias will be emboldened, and President Obama, not always the most alert owl in the tree, would do well to pay attention.

According to the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), a liberal outfit that monitors right wing extremist groups, there are upwards of 35,000 of these armed vigilantes running around loose in the United States.

Even discounting for liberal bias and paranoia on the part of the SPLC, there probably ARE at least 12,000 of these crazies willing to take up arms against you and the FBI.

One of the strange beliefs of these militias is the idea that the Federal government is obliged to fight "fair". Nothing is further from the truth. The federal government is obliged only to get the job done with the least amount of expense and bloodshed available.

It was not "fair" for George Washington to show up with 13,000 troops to "shock and awe" the poor, misguided hillbillies, but he showed who was going to call the shots in a young country, and it was not going to be David Bradford.

Years later, another general-president, Dwight Eisenhower faced defiance of federal authority in a school integration case in Little Rock, Arkansas. Eisenhower had the authority to send in the U.S. Marshalls and the FBI.

Instead, Ike sent in The 101st Airborne, which has far more toys to play with than the FBI or the Marshalls Service.

Naturally, the local Arkansas Klan didn't think that was "fair", but they knew better than to mess with the 101st.

Similarly, Bundy and his militia will not think it "fair" when the NPS and BLM rangers restage the Bundy cattle roundup, this time bringing some friends along; probably the 82nd Airborne and Delta Force to do any heavy lifting if required.

The 82nd will do a "show & tell" live fire demonstration on federal (BLM) land involving Apache attack helicopters and Hellfire missiles. The various militias will collectively gulp, put away their AK-47's and decide their services are needed elsewhere. Some will be detained for child endangerment; others for interfering with federal law enforcement officers, leaving Cliven Bundy, like David Bradford, a very lonely man.

We can of course, after due process, place Mr. Bundy and his accomplices in federal prison where they can learn a new skill; such as making interpretive signs for the National Park Service.

Well, you see Cliven Bundy and his militia do not accept the primacy of the Federal government, and alas for Mr. Bundy and his cohorts, American Citizenship lies within the provenance of the Federal government.

In order to become an American Citizen (Other than by birth) the Federal government requires that you take a formal oath before a federal magistrate after passing a Civics test.

"I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereign of whom or which I have heretofore been subject or citizen: That I will support and defend the Constitution and the laws of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic: That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same: That I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law: that I will perform non-combatant service in the armed forces of the United States when required by the law, that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by law and I take this obligation fully, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion, so help me God."

Readers will note that there is no mention of county sheriffs or individual states.

According to Bundy and his militia friends, the county sheriff is the supreme arbiter of the law in his/her county and they need answer only to him. They do not recognize the authority of the federal government.

Now that is interesting. Most people do recognize the authority of the Federal Government and scores line up before a federal magistrate every day to take the Oath of Allegiance to the United States in order to become citizens Many choose one of the NPS historic sites such as the Statue of Liberty or Independence Hall for a mass taking of the Oath of Allegiance. It is a proud moment for all.

Since service in the US military (Something that Bundy apparently avoided) is one route to U.S. Citizenship, numerous oaths have been dramatically administered on the battlefield, with some oath takers not surviving their tour of duty.

One route out of U.S citizenship is service in someone else's army; loss of citizenship being fairly straight forward in joining an ISIS unit; a bit less obvious in the case of case of joining one of Bundy's militias. (Just who is in charge of these supposedly "well regulated" and well-armed outfits is an interesting question; it sure doesn't seem to be the federal government or any state we've heard of.)

As we speak, there are around 11 million illegal aliens in the United States that are (theoretically) subject to deportation. Most of them are amiable Aztecs or Mayans whose ancestors have lived in North America for, oh, 30 or 40 thousand years. In general, they are quiet people, showing no propensity for human sacrifice or pyramid building. They are hardworking, uncomplaining, and mind their own business. Therefore, we have an unwritten "Quid Pro Quo" agreement with these 11 million: "If you refrain from committing a serious crime while in the United States, we will (probably) not deport you."

On the other hand, Cliven Bundy and the militias that support him are a clear and present danger to every law enforcement officer, federal, state or local; uniformed or plain clothes. They are also a menace to any authority figure. (We are assuming that the Secretary of the Interior, and the Directors of the National Park Service and the Bureau of Land Management will show up on horseback to show their support for the next roundup.)

For example, Cliven Bundy said some rather unfortunate things about Black people. Should he be charged and convicted on various fraud and sedition charges he would be sentenced to a federal prison, most of which are woefully overcrowded with Black people.

It could be tactfully pointed out to Cliven that the Aryan Brotherhood or other White supremacist groups might not be able to able to protect him. It could be a long 5-10 years.

Therefore, it might be an option to renounce his American citizenship (He doesn't seem to like present day America anyway) and allow himself to be deported. (A bargain for the rest of us as incarceration in a federal stony lonesome costs the taxpayer $25,000 a year on average).

Australia had been suffering a slow invasion of refugees from the Middle East and Afghanistan. There were thousands of them who spent their life savings to have smugglers take them from Indonesia in leaky, overcrowded, unseaworthy boats to the west coast of Australia.

Most of them were caught on the beach or rescued from sinking boats. The question was what to do with them.

The immediate solution was to intern the refugees on Christmas Island, an Australian possession of limited size (9 x 12 miles ) 1700 miles west of Darwin.

Obviously this was only a temporary solution; the Aussies were between a rock and a hard place. As a humane Western democracy they could not simply let the refugees drown in the sea or imprison them on an island forever. Nor could they allow their country to be overrun by people who have some very strange customs.

The Prime Minister of Australia, Tony Abbott, contacted his Cambodian counterpart, Prime Minister Hun Sen of the Cambodian Peoples Party and absolute ruler of Cambodia.

Since dictatorships are chronically short on cash, the answer was a guarded "Yes, but what's the catch?

"Hardly any" said Tony truthfully. "All you have to do is grant Cambodian citizenship to a few thousand suffering refugees, and don't worry; we'll fund their transport."

Worked like a charm, neighbors. The flow of refugees was reduced to a tiny trickle as word got around that future refugees would be paying smugglers thousands of dollars to ship them NOT to a rich, shiny, First World liberal democracy with oodles of social welfare programs. Instead, they would be going to another run down Third World dictatorship, very much like the one they left, except for language, religion and customs.

We can perform the same service for Cliven Bundy and his militias should they decide to renounce American Citizenship to forego a prison term.

Secretary of State John Kerry could call on Prime Minister Sen and offer him a really decent foreign aid package in return for citizenship or refuge for Bundy and his followers.

Actually, Bundy might like being a Cambodian. The weather is warm year around and there is plenty of water, something you can't say about Nevada.

The Cambodian people are friendly, outgoing and helpful. (At least your editor found them so when I last visited) The dictator, Prime Minister Hun Sen may be an entirely different matter, but in general, if you don't mess with Sen, he will not mess with you.

Cambodia is a developing country with a sort of "wild West" quality about it that should appeal to Bundy. He will be pleased to find that Cambodia has a surprisingly relaxed attitude toward firearms. Your editor noticed a sign in a Cambodian regional airport politely advising "Gentlemen to unload their pistols before boarding their flight". Said "Gentlemen" were required to dry fire their pistols to prove they had done so. (A bucket of sand was provided for those absentminded folks who failed to eject the cartridge in the chamber as well as the magazine)

Remember that Bundy and Militia members even if convicted of sedition or other crimes are still American citizens with all the rights and privileges therein and only they can renounce that magnificent possession.

However, I am going to ask members of my Congressional delegation to propose a bill that would permit loss of citizenship for participating in an armed rebellion against the U.S. government or its officers. (Naturally, the bill would have to be written so as to protect the rights of the patriotic Christian bank robber who is only pursuing his trade and not rebelling!)

But it would be fun to watch Tea Party Republican Congressmen explain why we need roving bands of heavily armed right wing thugs to run the country.

A HOME FOR ENDANGERED RANGERS

THE NON PROBLEM

THE SAFETY MESSAGE

PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS: A TRUE STORY OF FAITH AND MADNESS

CLIVEN BUNDY

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© Copyright 2014 by P. J. Ryan, all rights reserved.
PJ Ryan can be reached at:
thunderbear123@gmail.com.

A HOME FOR ENDANGERED RANGERS

THE NON PROBLEM

THE SAFETY MESSAGE

PILGRIM'S WILDERNESS: A TRUE STORY OF FAITH AND MADNESS

CLIVEN BUNDY

Return HOME

© Copyright 2014 by P. J. Ryan, all rights reserved. PJ Ryan can be reached at: thunderbear123@gmail.com.

© Copyright 2014 by P. J. Ryan, all rights reserved.
PJ Ryan can be reached at:
thunderbear123@gmail.com.