THUNDERBEAR® #292
THE OLDEST ALTERNATIVE NEWSLETTER IN THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT

April-June, 2012


BOOK REVIEW

Thunderbear. WORTH FIGHTING FOR: A Park Ranger's Unexpected Battle Against Federal Bureaucrats & Washington Redskins Owner Dan Snyder; Robert M. Danno, Honor Code Publishing Co. Shepherdstown, Md, $24.95.

This is a splendid book! Go out and buy a copy or get your library to get a copy, or even better, drop in on your nearest friendly National Park Service unit, go to the little Cooperating Association book store (All parks have them.) and inquire politely if they stock WORTH FIGHTING FOR. If they don't (and they probably won't) ask why not? If the clerk doesn't know why, demand to speak to someone with a little authority, like the Chief of Interpretation or the Superintendent.

Now that you've contacted a Park Authority Figure, earnestly explain to him/her that the book is a gripping true adventure story that details the challenges and rewards of a modern park ranger in National Parks from coast to coast. Ride, climb, scuba, hike, bike, fight fire and paddle with Park Ranger Rob Danno through a sterling adventurous career until he finally meets his final challenge and totally unexpected nemesis.

Explain to the Park Authority Figure that the book is also a true-life mystery and suspense story that will keep the reader on the edge of his seat, waiting for final denouement. There is also the thread of a charming love story woven throughout the narrative. It would be a surefire best seller for the Park Cooperating Association!

The Park Authority Figure will give you a lizard eyed stare. "I dunno" He/she will say, "I'll have to check with Region first."

Careful there! Don't raise your voice or pound on the Authority Figures' desk! The NPS does not like Troublemakers! They just might haul you off in chains, which is exactly what they did with Ranger Danno.

(Full disclosure, neighbors, I have never met Rob Danno either professionally or socially; Therefore, I have no dog in this fight, other than sharing your hope that Truth and Justice might prevail.)

Danno had an enviable career in National Park Service, spiraling ever onward in upward mobility, learning new skills and taking on new challenges as he leapfrogged from one "Crown Jewel" park assignment to another. (This being the Park Service, there probably ARE some that were envious of Danno's enviable rapid ascent, but he worked hard and long, with many uncompensated overtime hours, had good mentors and did not fail their trust in him. It is the job of leaders to identify and promote the talented, and Dannos was definitely talented. He also had that trait that Napoleon said was necessary in a leader; he was lucky. Indeed, he was lucky right up to the day his luck ran out.

Often "Whistleblowers", those who report malfeasance in a government agency, have stormy careers, full of up and downs, and bitter clashes with supervisors. This was not the case with Danno. He was a well-liked team player and meshed quickly with each park's command structure. He quickly became known as a problem solver rather than a problem creator. He apparently had that rare trait of being able to turn a faltering operation around without alienating the personnel.

His career took him from Whiskeytown NRA through Sequoia-Kings Canyon, Virgin Islands, Grand Canyon, Channel Islands, Yellowstone, Chiracahua, Fort Bowie NHS, Bryce Canyon, and finally, his nemesis park, The C & O Canal. Always at his side was his perky and intrepid wife, Mary, who put together a number of jobs for herself both in and out of the NPS, depending on circumstances. Between them they raised three handsome children, two of whom trooped off to The Air Force Academy. Interestingly, none of the children evidenced interest in a career with the NPS; (perhaps they noticed something about the NPS that Danno failed to spot.)

In reading of Danno's very successful career, with its awards for valor and competence, one could come to think of Danno as a sort of "Dudley Do Right" character, almost a caricature of the successful walk-on-water ranger.

However, Danno has very cleverly defused that possibility by starting the book out with "The Very Worst Day of His Life"; a graphic description of his humiliating arrest by the very agency he loved and had devoted his life to: The National Park Service. In reading of Danno's many successes and accomplishments the reader has a sense of foreboding that the NPS will eventually betray him.

In addition, there is a cautionary introduction to the book by Jeff Ruch, Executive Director of PEER (Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility) an NGO charged with the protection of the protectors of the Environment (i.e. Whistleblowers).

Ruch quotes Admiral Hyman Rickover, "If you must sin, sin against God and not the bureaucracy, For God may forgive your sins but the bureaucracy never will."

Danno was to find this out the hard way.

Ruch goes on to state. "People who speak out face very real repercussions...Agency heads find it easier to attack the messenger than to address the message. As seen in this (Danno's ) book, no charge is too petty or too ridiculous. Rather than face the often-knotty problems brought to light, managers often divert their attention to the "disgruntled employee" The conscientious employee is then portrayed as vengeful, unbalanced, or worse. The transformation from paragon to pariah is distressingly swift."

So how did the sterling Ranger Rob Danno suddenly become a pariah?

As park safety officers will tell you, a disaster is often the confluence of a number of small, seemingly unrelated incidents into a perfect storm. This was the case of Chief Ranger Danno and the C & O Canal National Historical Park.

Thunderbear.The much admired Danno accepted an offer of his third Chief Ranger position, this time at the C & O Canal as he thought it best to round out his resume by working in an urban park, plus he wanted to provide his younger children with the broader educational experiences of a large metropolitan area.

Danno was hired by C & O Superintendent Doug Ferris to professionalize the law enforcement at the Canal. Tragically for himself, and unluckily for Danno, Ferris developed cancer and had to step down just when Danno arrived on the scene.

The deputy superintendent Kevin Brandt replaced Ferris as Acting Superintendent.

Then came Hurricane Isabel.

Hurricane Isabel threatened to be the biggest wind to strike the Washington area since Newt Gingritch became Speaker of House of Representatives. The weather and news people went crazy with apocalyptic forecasts; it would be at least a Category 4 and probably a Category 5. DC was doomed! (In retrospect, as hurricanes lose strength over land and DC was a good hundred miles from the open ocean, Isabel would have do some mighty skillful navigating up the Chesapeake Bay and up the Potomac to arrive at the White House or the C & O Canal as a Category 4 or 5 hurricane)

However, if the dire predictions were accurate, here was an opportunity for an ambitious Acting Superintendent to score points by showing he could handle anything Mother Nature could throw at him and thus should be granted the superintendency very much like a battlefield promotion.

To this end, he directed the Park's new Chief Ranger (Danno had been on duty about 4 hours) to implement The Incident Command System (ICS) to handle Isabel which was due to arrive in the DC area that later that week.

The ICS is an ingenious management concept for dealing with incidents ranging from a lost child to the End of the World. The only problem with ICS is that it requires considerable training to make it work. Danno had spent much of his career refining and teaching the ICS concept and was one of the experts in the field. After a bit of questioning on his part, Danno discovered that the Acting Superintendent and his staff knew very little about running an ICS. This could be remedied by extensive training, but there wasn't time.

Danno advised against implementing ICS as improperly carried out, it could be a disaster in itself and be very counterproductive. However, the Acting Superintendent visualized himself as being the ICS commander with attendant publicity and photo opportunities for himself.

Danno set up a modified ICS in keeping with the staff's lack of familiarity with the ICS concept and, with a little luck (Isabel was downgraded to a Tropical Storm) the Park weathered Isabel, albeit with considerable flooding and downed trees.

Danno and the management team estimated about a million dollars in damage to the park. According to Danno, Brandt felt this was not nearly enough; he wanted a damage estimate of around 16 million (Now neighbors, who among you have not padded a natural disaster damage bill just a wee bit?) However, this was going overboard and Danno objected, saying that it was unethical. According to Danno, Brant flew off the handle and told him to obey orders.

This was not a good start for a relationship. According to Danno, other C & O Division Chiefs warned him to watch his back, as the Acting Superintendent believed that Danno was trying to undermine him.

Then along came Dan Snyder, billionaire owner of the Washington Redskins football team and one of the seemingly unrelated pieces that would create the Perfect Storm that would be Rob Danno's Nemesis.

C & O National Historical Park is 184 miles long, but it is only about 200 feet or less wide. Many hikers and bikers do not realize this. For much of the184 miles of towpath trail, the park user sees a comforting wall of trees that look as if they were the edge of a great forest that extends for miles. They also believe the forest they see is owned by the NPS, that is, themselves, the American people.

That is not true. The forest is an illusion. It extends only for a hundred feet or less. Moreover it is not owned by the NPS, instead it really somebody's backyard. You see, it would have been financially impossible for the US Government to buy up all the land fronting the towpath to preserve the park visitor's view. So the government came up with a scenic easement in which for tax relief, the property owner would agree in writing not to cut the trees on the property facing the Canal towpath. Just as important, the easement would be in perpetuity, that is, future buyers of the property would have to be told that there was an encumbrance on the property and that they too would be forbidden to cut the trees.

Now this was a win-win situation for most people. The trees were a privacy screen that would shield them from the prying eyes of people walking or biking the Canal and they could contemplate the changing seasonal beauty of their trees.

Now scenic easements are effective only if there are no exceptions; everyone must live up to the bargain.

Dan Snyder apparently decided he was an exception. This is not a usual decision on the part of a billionaire. The owner of the Washington Redskins had purchased the estate immediately adjacent to the C & O Canal, from Queen Noor of Jordan. He was aware that there was an easement on the property forbidding the cutting of trees on the C & O. That was the problem.

Dan wanted a view of the Potomac River. The trees were in the way. Snyder had reportedly offered the NPS $25,000 for permission to cut the trees. Former Superintendent Ferris rebuffed him. Billionaires are tenacious, however.

According to Danno, he counseled Brandt against allowing Snyder to cut the trees.

However, in June of 2004, Danno got word that Snyder had cut down dozens of trees on his property. At first, the Chief Ranger assumed that Snyder was a scofflaw, believing that since he was a billionaire, he could do anything. Being chief of law enforcement, Danno decided to investigate. He was told by the superintendent to stop his investigation.

Snyder started yet another tree clearing on his property. Now this is something you can't keep secret. A hundred or more people pass the site each day. THE WASHINTON POST became interested.

Brandt claimed that the tree cutting was part of an "exotic plant management" program that just happened to start on Dan Snyder's property. Danno had not heard of such a program discussed in park management team meetings until that explanation was provided to the media. Danno now had a decision to make as he felt Brandt was providing false information to the public.

Danno contacted Jeff Ruch of PEER who advised him carefully and conservatively on the downside and terrors of whistle blowing. However, Danno decided to file a formal whistleblowers complaint against Brandt in the firm belief that the NPS would protect him in the interest of justice, fair play and the protection of the Environment. After all, NPS employees are required to take whistleblower training compelling them to report waste, fraud, and abuse, and Danno also had that pesky law enforcement oath of office to uphold, silly fellow!

Two weeks after making his "Protected Disclosures", Danno was relieved of his law enforcement duties as well as gun, badge, and other equipment and told to report to George Washington Memorial Parkway for temporary duty while he (not Brandt) was being investigated for wrongdoing. Importantly, all the contents of his office were transported to his home by NPS ranger Reynolds. This would take an amazing twist later on in the story.

He found he was being "investigated" for three rather petty charges, all easily refutable, that had been brought against him by Brandt. Suddenly, after 25 years of exceptional meritorious service, Danna's performance suddenly "deteriorated" under Brandt's watch after Danno became a whistleblower.

Danno was sure that NPS investigators would become suspicious. He was wrong.

Although, a board of inquiry recommended that the charges be dropped and Danno's law enforcement commission be restored, amazingly these were just recommendations; the superintendent could keep right on attacking and harassing him, which is what he did.

In the meantime, the DOI Inspector Generals investigation of the NPS, Dan Snyder and his tree cutting continued, spurred by THE WASHINGTON POST and an environmental office of Montgomery County, two entities that the NPS could not control.

As it turned out Dan Snyder was NOT a scofflaw (in the usual sense). He really DID have permission. You see neighbors, billionaires never ever break the law; they move through it by osmosis. According to the investigation of "Treegate' it seems that Dan Snyder invited the Director of the National Park Service, Fran Mainella to join him in his private skybox at a Redskins game. She accepted, and during the course of the game, Dan asked her if she could help him with a silly bit of bureaucratic red tape involving cutting a few trees on his property. Now we don't know what Fran said as she can't remember, or even remember if she was at the game. However, she was regarded as a weak vessel, a slender reed upon which to lean the Environment. Bill Wade, Director of the Coalition of Retired National Park Service Employees called her "The Worst Director in the History of the NPS". So it does seem possible that somehow, permission was granted. (Much to the outrage of scenic easement holders who were playing by the rules.) At any rate, according to the Report, Dan Smith, the Director's Special Assistant and Brandt organized the "exotic" tree removal. (Many or most of which were native) Somebody had to take the fall and Dan Smith was the designated hitter being given a letter of Reprimand, and then later promoted to a superintendency. Brandt was rewarded with an award from Mainella, even after the DOI report stated he had provided false information

For his efforts at preserving the environment, Danno was demoted to issuing picnic permits and the charges brought against him by Brandt dragged on.

As Jeff Ruch had predicted, Danno found that NPS personnel were willing to lie under oath, pander to great wealth and deprive him of his rights; a typical day in the life of a Whistleblower.

Danno was no longer Chief Ranger, he kept his commission, but was assigned to Antietam Battlefield as a staff law enforcement ranger under the supervision of William Reynolds, whom Danno obviously disliked, (One of the interesting things about the book is that Danno names names in no uncertain terms. Here is his description of Reynolds; "He was out of shape and slovenly in appearance. His work, when he did any, was sloppy and haphazard. Yet he was pompous and arrogant. He had applied for many Chief Ranger positions but had always been passed over."

Danno realized that the NPS was hinting rather broadly that he should consider resignation or early retirement. However, Danno loved the NPS, could not believe it could betray him and believed in the saying of Texas Ranger Jim Gillett "Nothing can stop a man that's in the right as long as he keeps on coming!" He thought he would be vindicated. He did not realize that the NPS was not quite done with him.

The next apparently unrelated piece was about to fall into place to create the Perfect Storm of Danno's Nemesis.

Danno and his wife Mary had purchased a small horse farm and rented out the barn to an itinerant farrier who traveled from farm to farm-shoeing horses. The guy didn't much like the rent paying part of being a tenant and so Danno asked him to leave in no uncertain terms. The guy was a vindictive sort, and two hours after his eviction, told the NPS that not only had Danno physically threatened him, but that he had stolen U.S. Government property hidden on the farm, specifically an NPS power drill.

Now you can imagine that this information was like Manna from heaven to the NPS! Thank you, sweet Jesus! Now we can get that whistle blowing S.O.B!

The NPS was lightning quick to arrest Danno in the most humiliating manner possible with a SWAT team. Danno's boss William Reynolds did the initial investigation and questioning of the witness.

The alleged "stolen property" was actually the contents of Danno's office, including his ranger equipment, files and office documents transferred there by none other than his new boss, NCR regional chief ranger, William Reynolds. The seized property included the power drill issued to Danno by the park maintenance division for an approved project. There were also some uniforms, badges, and insignia, some of which belonged to Danno, that were being put together as a collection of NPS memorabilia under the supervision of a Harpers Ferry Center curator. Curiously, these details did not find their way into the official report.

The Federal prosecutor was hoping to put Danno away for ten years. The trial was a real cliffhanger, well told with plenty of suspense, not unlike the courtroom scene in the book and film TO KILL A MOCKING BIRD.

The Jury found him "Not Guilty" in less than ten minutes.

Now did the NPS bite its lip, stub its toe in the dirt and say "Aw shucks! Guess we were wrong! Sorry 'bout that! You can have your old job and your career back. Can we let bygones be bygones and be friends again?"

Well no! You just don't know how tenacious your National Park Service can be! Danno was placed in Career Limbo, still on the payroll, but with few duties or contacts for three years, apparently in the vain hope that he would resign or retire.

However, his fellow rangers did not forget. Danno rose from the bureaucratic dead when the husband of murdered park ranger Margaret Anderson asked Danno to deliver the eulogy at her funeral.

An embarrassed NPS found some duties for Danno, ironically making him NCR Regional Boundary Coordinator, charged with preventing incursions on NPS property-such as illegally cutting trees.

"But" you ask "Surely Danno must have done SOMETHING wrong" No one is entirely innocent! " That is certainly true if the NPS is on the case!

Now neighbors, you may remember the last scene of that old Morgan Freeman movie, THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, in which patrol cars, sirens screaming, are headed for Shawshank Prison to arrest the evil, corrupt warden and his minions.

Can we expect U.S. Marshalls' cars to go screaming down 18th street to surround that Den of Malfeasance, the Interior Building, and start hauling away the bad guys?

Don't bet on it anytime soon!

In the interim, you might like to read WORTH FIGHTING FOR or give the book to an aspiring park ranger; it might inspire him/her to retain a good lawyer before accepting a permanent position.


SUCCESS STORY

When it comes to saving living things, we humans have always done better at sea than on land. Maybe it's because we don't live at sea, at least not permanently, at least not yet

We have had particularly good luck with marine mammals (or perhaps they now have less bad luck with us.)

Most of the marine mammals, whales, seals, sea otters, and so on, were hunted almost to the point of extinction before we finally got environmental religion and asked ourselves what we were doing and why.

The California Gray Whale, once teetering on the brink of extinction, is now comfortably back in the game and off the endangered species list, with an estimated 100,000 individuals, which may be close to the historic carrying capacity. They can apparently coexist in a commensal manner with rather heavy coastal shipping and offshore oil platforms. What happens next may be interesting. Thanks to global warming, it is now possible for these air-breathing mammals to cross the top of the world and enter the Atlantic, possibly repopulating the range of the long extinct Atlantic Gray Whale. This is not entirely a theoretical possibility, as recently an apparently healthy (but probably puzzled) California Gray Whale turned up in the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Israel (Possibly looking for Jonah). We shall see.

The Elephant Seal salvation story is yet another success.

The Northern Elephant Seal (Mirounga angustirostris) was hunted almost to extinction in the late 19th century. These huge creatures measured 16 feet or more for males and often weighing 3 tons, much of it blubber, which could be rendered into 200 gallons of oil that was second only to Sperm whale oil in quality. It was so sought after that the Northern Elephant Seal was commercially extinct by the 20th century.

However, there were persistent rumors of a tiny relict population on the remote Mexican Island of Guadalupe 150 miles off the coast of Baja California. The SMITHSONIAN, fearing that the Northern Elephant Seal might go extinct, sent an expedition to Guadalupe. Would they arrive in time? It was said that only about 37 individuals survived. Yes, they arrived in time. They shot seven of the last Northern Elephant Seals in existence. You see, their job was not to save the Elephant seals but to collect the skulls and skeletons of the Seals before they went extinct (You have to understand scientific logic!) The Rothschild Museum of Great Britain, upon hearing of SMITHSONIAN'S good fortune, mounted their own expedition and killed 6 more.

Fortunately, the Mexican government had had enough of crazy Gringo scientists and passed the world's first Marine mammal protection act in 1922, and, to back it up, stationed an armed naval detachment on Guadalupe with orders to shoot large holes in anybody trying to "advance science."

For awhile, nothing much was heard from the remaining Elephant seals, but the cold waters of the Pacific were hospitable and the seals began to increase, first arithmetically, then geometrically.

They recolonized the beaches of what was to become Channel Islands National Park, particularly San Miguel Island which hosts the world's largest collection of Pennipeds (seals and their relatives) including an awesome 30,000 Northern Elephant Seal rookery.

The Elephant seals had come roaring back from near extinction; the marine equivalent of the Bison's return.

At some point, the Elephant seals made an interesting herd decision. Exactly how this decision was arrived at is not yet understood by science.

In the late 20th century, the Elephant seals made the collective decision to colonize the mainland beaches.

Apparently, in historic or prehistoric times, the seals had never colonized the mainland beaches, as it was simply too dangerous due to the presence of Grizzly Bears, wolves, and above all, humans. Although one Elephant seal would have fed an Indian village for a week, that doesn't seem to be the case, as according to archeologists, no Elephant seal bones have been found in Chumash Indian middens along the coast.

However, by the 1970"s, the Elephant Seal Safety Committee, or whoever makes these decisions, gave the green light and the Seals began coming ashore on the mainland to give birth, mate, and molt. Somehow, these creatures understood that there was no longer a danger from Grizzly Bears, wolves, Indians or Smithsonian scientists. There was now an opportunity to go where no Elephant seal had gone before-The California mainland.

In 1975 the first birth on the mainland was recorded at a relatively secluded beach at Ano Nuevo State Park. More Elephant seals started coming to Ano Nuevo State Park. California State Parks & Recreation quickly understood that they had a potentially lucrative tourist attraction and developed an elaborate reservation and visitation system for viewing the mammoth sea creature.

However, the Elephant seals had just begun their explorations and colonization. By the winter of 1996 hundreds of Elephant seals hauled out at Piedras Blancas beach, which is cheek by proboscis to California's storied Highway One.

Now few of the drivers on that section of Highway One had ever seen or even heard of Elephant seals. All they saw when they came around the curve was what looked like a beach full of Volkswagen sized gray "rocks"; then some of the "rocks" began to move.

Any Yellowstone Park Ranger could predict the results. Cars were abandoned in the middle of the highway as their occupants sought a closer view of these unearthly creatures. Cars were rear ended as Highway One was subjected to ongoing "Seal Jams'. Private land owners complained that their property and fences were being trampled.

It proved necessary to realign Highway One and trade state land with private landowners in order to provide a safe parking area and viewing area before someone got killed or seriously injured.

The Elephant seals continued merrily on being Elephant Seals. In 2003, more than 2600 seal pups were born at Piedras Blancas and there is no end in sight.

No end in sight? Will they try to take over the beaches of San Francisco? Interesting threat, neighbors! In that case, we may have to reintroduce the Grizzly Bear to the San Francisco Bay area. (Just kidding, Mitt!)

Actually, the Elephant seals have an exquisitely sensitive take on which beaches are fit for colonization and which are to be avoided. Coming from the south they have neatly leapfrogged San Francisco, going from Ano Nuevo to remote beaches at Point Reyes National Seashore. They have also established colonies at Cape St. George in Northern California and Cape Arago in Oregon and advanced into Canada with a pioneer colony on Vancouver Island.

Joan and I had a visitor from the East Coast and fortunately California has no shortage of God made and man made attractions. We would take our Eastern visitor up to see William Randolph Hearst's castle at San Simeon and the world's largest mainland Elephant Seal haul out at Piedras Blancas to watch the huge bulls battle for dominance.

It turned out to be a truly amazing sight: A drive-in Elephant Sea Colony! You simply turn off Highway 1 at the Piedras Blancas Beach sign and immediately park in the expansive free parking lot. There are low-key interpretive signs describing what you are going to see. There is also a table staffed by knowledgeable and affable volunteers who sell books and memorabilia about Elephant Seals and offer roving interpretation about what is happening.

And a lot is happening. The Elephant Seals begin about 15 to 20 feet from you beyond a low fence and stretch for a mile or more of tightly packed pennepeds. Other than the immense size of these creatures, the first thing you notice is the noise. Every Elephant seal has an opinion and is not afraid to voice it in a series of never ending honks, grunts, roars, and screams.

The reason for this terrestrial convention of mammals that are far more at home in the sea is primordial: birth, sex & dominance.

Unlike whales, which have completed their evolutionary journey to being totally marine, Elephant seals have not cut all their ties with the land.

One tie is birth. This is one field where the Elephant Seal female has aced her human cousin.

We watched one Elephant seal give birth. It was over in two minutes, tops, from first indication of labor to the expulsion of the afterbirth. The mother seems to show less interest in the process or the resulting pup than the seagulls squabbling over the afterbirth.

"It doesn't seem fair!" Our guest fumed enviously. She was right. Human birth is hard, bloody, melodramatic work! Bears and Elephant seals do it much more efficiently.

Sex & Dominance are also practiced on the beach rather than the sea.

Only male Elephant seals have the trunk like proboscis that gives this species its common name. (The females have a perpetual, rather endearing Mona Lisa smile)

The males engage in ritualized sparring contests like Sumo wrestlers with 4-inch canines.

Two equally sized and matched males will hump along the sand until they face each other, chests out, necks extended, mouths open, roaring and bellowing all the while.

Ever since adolescence the males have been practice sparring with each other to practice offensive moves and to build up a layer of defensive scar tissue on the chest, very much like a baseball catcher's chest protector.

The seals will face each other like giant bookends for a minute or more, bellowing and trying to psych out the opponent. Then one will lunge and slash, the blow usually landing on the neck or chest. There is a counter stroke or two on the part or both animals, and then suddenly, like a Sumo match, the fight is over. One Elephant seal will retreat, often into the sea, with the victor in slinky toy pursuit for a short distance, just to show he has won, but not far enough to allow other waiting males to poach his harem.

Strangely enough, the Elephant seal mothers seem to have no educational program for their offspring. Their maternal obligation seems to consist in allowing their pup to nurse. Nursing lasts about a month. The mother fasts during this period and does not introduce her pup to the sea. By the end of the month, the pup will weigh between 250 and 300 pounds. After about 28 days of nursing, the female goes into heat, mates, with a dominant bull, and abruptly swims for the North Pacific, leaving her pup behind on the beach.

As Mom did not leave written instructions, the Elephant seal pup faces one of the steepest learning curves in the mammalian kingdom. Prior to abandonment, the Sea elephant pup had never swum in the ocean, had never tasted anything except mother's milk, let alone fish, and really did not have a clue what to do next.

Oddly enough, the pup does not instinctively head for the ocean. Instead, it lies on the beach waiting for Mom to return. She never will. The pup becomes hungry and begins to lose weight. After a week or so of this, the pup ventures into the Pacific, and, if he/she can avoid that nemesis of Elephant seals, the Great white shark, our pup will begin to put two and two together. With no instruction from anyone, the pup will eventually learn to dive thousands of feet to the sea bottom to pick up a shellfish dinner. The pup will go his/her solitary way, spending months at sea in very cold water, migrating slowly Northwest into the Gulf of Alaska. They are mostly Pelagic, returning to shore only to mate, give birth, and to molt.

They do not seem to travel in herds or packs, living a solitary existence in the North Pacific, diving to great depths of nearly a mile and surfacing only for a short time to avoid their nemesis, the Great White Shark. Being a rather gregarious species, we humans tend to anthromorphize our emotions, such as loneliness, onto other species.

This is a mistake.

Henry Beston, writing in THE OUTERMOST HOUSE, said:

"We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. Remote from universal nature, and living by complicated artifice, man in civilization surveys the creatures through the glass of his knowledge and sees thereby a feather magnified and the whole image in distortion. We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complex than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren: They are not underlings: They are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth."


A DIFFERENCE OF OPINION

You never know what will upset people.

Generally speaking, it is a good idea to avoid Religion and Politics when making small talk with new acquaintances or complete strangers.

Experts advise discussion of the weather or sports as safe alternative to a debate on which religion will hoist you to heaven with the greatest certainty, or which political party has the best lock on decency, sanity, and The American Way.

However, weather and sports may no longer be safe.

A discussion of the weather can unexpectedly lurch into a debate on Global Warming and Climate Change and whether you are on the side of The Environment or the Forces of Darkness.

Even sports is no City of Refuge against getting into an argument with some fanatic.

A discussion of team sports inevitably means choosing a team. This can be fatal.

Soccer fans are notoriously partisan and can be remarkably violent, which is odd considering the rather pacific, non-contact nature of the sport.

Even in the United States, people are beaten insensible for wearing the wrong team colors in the wrong part of the football stadium.

However, not even individual, recreational sports are without controversy.

Consider, the sport of Mountain Biking.

It is practiced by thousands of ordinary Americans, but it is strenuous enough and dangerous enough to be considered as somewhat exotic as a presidential sport. Most residents of the White House confine themselves to golf and/or fishing, two activities that the average American is familiar with, even if they do not participate in these pastimes (Polo would be the political kiss of death, unless you are Prince William). President Obama is known to play basketball from time to time, which given his relative youth and urban background, is considered acceptable.

President Bush the Younger was noted for enjoying something called "Mountain Biking".

Generally speaking, reporters, (at least American reporters) let this one slide, apparently believing it to be self explanatory; the President rides his bike on a mountain. Had President Bush knocked off work for a strenuous game of Buzkashi or Jai Alai, the Press Corps would have had to explain what the President was up to.

Actually, mountain biking is a lot more complex and controversial than one would think (as I was to find out).

You see, the editor of an Environmental blog THE NATIONAL PARK TRAVELER asked if I would do a twice-monthly column for them. I agreed and we called the column "A View From the Overlook". The title is important. It was not "The View", but rather "A View" implying that I had not seen everything and others might interpret the View differently, or see things that I had overlooked.

I was given carte blanche to write about anything that caught my fancy as long as it remotely involved the environment and/or the National Parks.

So far, so good. The first column dealt with the transfer of brucellosis free bison from the genetically pure Yellowstone to restock the Plains Indian reservations with their iconic staff of life and possibly spark a spiritual, cultural, and even economic rebirth for these impoverished peoples, (If Ted Turner can make money on Bison, so can the Native Americans!) Not too much objection there, except from guys raised on Ayn Rand bedtime stories.

The second story dealt with the "Golden Years" of another NPS icon, former Yellowstone Chief Ranger Roger Siglin; not much controversy there, just sort of a READER'S DIGEST "feel good" article on the way retirement was supposed to be.

The third article is where your correspondent got into trouble.

You see, I had a choice between war and peace (though I did not realize it at the time).

I had notes for two articles, one a rather innocuous one on the possibility of a Home for Endangered Rangers OR a more controversial subject; single-track mountain biking in the National Parks.

I thought the article on the mountain bikes would garner more comments than the one on the feasibility of an NPS Old Folks Home. I was right.

The article "Mountain Biker in Chief" quickly inspired some 48 comments, of which 34 enthusiastically attacked the article and/or the author

There were 11 comments in support of the article (though in fairness, two people commented favorably more than once), so let's reduce that to 5 individuals on my side

In addition, there were 3 Christians who thought we were all at fault, needed to be more kind, and learn to "walk a mile in the other man's shoes" (As the great Republican philosopher, PJ O'Rourke observed "The advantage in doing that is that you will be a mile ahead of the other man, and you will have his shoes."

Only Muslims and Mormons surpass Mountain bikers in steadfast defense of their religion (and make no mistake, it is a religion.)

Your correspondent urges you to read the article and the comments (google up NATIONAL PARK TRAVELER then go to SEARCH and type in key words "Biker in Chief". That should bring you in.

The main objections seem to be:

  1. That the article is not funny. That is probably true as no one enjoys seeing his or her religion pointed out as something amusing. In addition, I have repeatedly warned my few supporters never to claim that anything I write is funny, as nothing so enrages a person as to tell them they have no sense of humor.
  2. That it is a cheap shot at "Dubya" Oh come on! That one line "After striking the constable, President Bush continued to bounce along the pavement for an additional five meters before coming to a stop" has got to be one of the funniest deadpan lines in the annals of police report writing, either in English or any other language!
  3. That the writer is supporting the Viet Cong or equating Mountain bikers and President Bush with Viet Cong atrocities. Please reread the article. Your correspondent was commenting on the ingenuity of the Viet Cong as well as their tenacity, traits that Mountain bikers rather cherish. After all, one can admire the tactical skill of Generals Rommel and Nathan Bedford Forrest without endorsing the causes they fought for.
  4. That the writer is ignorant and not familiar with Mountain biking. You bet! Guilty on that one! This argument reminds me of a familiar argument of my youth; "PJ, if you would only try Marijuana JUST ONCE, you would see that it is The Salvation of Mankind, and not the time and money waster you think it is." Alas! I forewent "Enlightenment" and became one of the few non-Mormon members of my generation not to try the Killer Weed. I suspect that Mountain biking is not as dangerous and environmentally destructive as its opponents suggest or as benign as its proponents suggest; like Marijuana, the truth being somewhere in the middle.
  5. That it is a safe sport, particularly to other trail users and it doesn't impact the environment unduly. This is not true, thank God! It is SUPPOSED to have a frission of danger! It's an Extreme Sport for Chrisakes! That's why a dedicated single track is needed. Commenters said over and over again, that during their entire mountain biking career they had NEVER seen a collision with a hiker or heard a discouraging word on "multi-use" trails. These statements seem at odds with the comment of Lee Dalton who says he had to hike out with a seven-stitch injury caused by a biker knocking him down. A second biker hit him in the left leg and then cursed him for cluttering up the trail with his fallen carcass. There are others who also have had less sanguine experiences with Mountain bikes on a "multi-use" trail.
  6. Understandably, the editor of NATIONAL PARK TRAVELER would like to move on to less hot button topics, lest one issue dominate his publication. Therefore, I will submit a (hopefully) non-controversial article on the possibility of an Old Folks Home for Endangered Rangers for the NATIONAL PARK TRAVELER. In the interim, THUNDERBEAR will publish the article that would have appeared in "A View From the Overlook".

Here it is:

SINGLE TRACK MOUNTAIN BIKING AND THE PREVENTION OF ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE

Well neighbors, as the late Tennessee Ernie Ford was wont to say, "We really plowed up a snake" on the subject of George W. Bush and mountain biking.

There were many comments on the article "Mountain Biker in Chief", mostly negative. There would have been many more, except that since THE NATIONAL PARK TRAVELER is a Family journal espousing Christian Values, the editor removed indecent references to my parentage and probable deviant sexual practices. (The International Mountain Biking Association constantly counsels its members to be polite and not rise up in four-letter wrath at those who cross them either on the trail or in print, but obviously sometimes the heat of the moment overcomes Christian charity.)

Next time I will chose less controversial topics to discuss, such as Islam, The National Rifle Association, or Scientology.

Ah, but we are stuck with the subject at hand: Where to begin?

The responders seem to imply that mountain biking is just another variant on walking or horseback riding, and that it can be safely co-mingled on the same track as these other activities.

This does not seem to be the case, at least to some trail users. We are attaching a couple of links of people who did not have a happy trail sharing experience with mountain bikers.

http://www.parkspreservation.org/EllisonParksPlan/incidents
http://mjvande.nfshost.com/mtb104.htm

Now after reading a few of these horror stories of pedestrians and bikes on single-track trails, what conclusion can we reach?

Well now neighbors, I think we can conclude that a "multi use" single-track trail might be a possible preventative for Alzheimer's disease.

Say What?

Well, some scientists believe that an active, concentrated, alert mind is the best protection against the onset of Alzheimer's disease.

Now when one saunters down a bike free national park trail, one's mind tends to wander, to become unfocused; to drift off in a vague reverie about Nature, God, and one's place in the Universe.

This is not the case when one is on a "Multi Use" single-track trail.

As Dr. Samuel Johnson famously remarked, ..."When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully."

The hiker on a "Multi Use" Trail must possess this "Wonderful Concentration" if he/She knows what's good for them; only a chipmunk in fox and owl territory must maintain a greater sense of alertness. (A good set of jumping or leaping reflexes is also in order.)

"But can't the mountain biker simply slow down?" You ask.

The answer is "No"; for philosophical and physiological reasons.

You see, mountain biking is a lot like making love.

Now it is possible to make love in a quiet, slow, sedate, introspective manner with due regard for the sensibilities of passing strangers or curious bystanders, but most people would say you are missing the point of the exercise.

Mountain biking, like love making, should be practiced at the full speed gallop. Mountain bikers philosophically do not WANT to slow down. Nor should they be made to do so. In addition, some people physiologically require a burst of adrenalin triggered by an extreme sport like mountain biking in order to feel fully alive. No one would deny them that.

Except when they involve unwilling participants.

This means that the mountain biker will require his/her dedicated one-track trail (unless a jeep trail is involved in which the other track provides an escape route.)

Recently, an International Mountain Biking Association (IMBA) affiliate decided to create such a trail, a 13-mile single-track "multi-use" trail in Big Bend National Park. Horses would be banned from the trail and, while hikers technically could use the trail, it would definitely be an Alzheimer's preventing experience, with the hiker leaping to avoid hurtling mountain bikers.

"But isn't it just a crazy proposal?" You ask.

"Nope! It's the real thing, and goes to show what can happen when a pressure group like IMBA exerts force on a rather timid agency like the NPS. It also shows what can happen when there is a mole in the agency.

The outgoing superintendent wondered out loud if there were not mountain biking "opportunities" in Big Bend. (Yes there are; some 200 miles of jeep trails, but apparently that wasn't enough of an "opportunity"; a new single track trail was the only answer!)

Not according to the superintendent's staff. They voted unanimously against the mountain biking trail and 20 of them wrote written comments against the trail and some of them contacted PEER (Public Employees for Environment Responsibility), OUR TEXAS WILD and other environmental and whistleblower groups.

"But wait!" You say, surely there must have the required environmental documents and public contact period!"

"Aw shucks! We just plumb forgot!" was the reply from the bureaucratic Quisling. (One can visualize the insolent half smile.)

According to Judy Calman, staff attorney for OUR TEXAS WILD "To create a first of its kind biking trail through pristine public land, without allowing the public to review the FONSI (Finding of No Significant Impact) before construction, without going through essential rulemaking process and while allowing an interested group to have behind the scenes access, creates a terrible precedent for the National Park System".

Jeff Ruch, Executive Director of PEER added, "Absent a statutory charter, The National Park Service should not be using tax dollars to promote exclusionary recreation."

Amen, Neighbors!


THE SAFETY MESSAGE: THE THIN GREEN LINE

You will remember that in issue #291 of THUNDERBEAR, we promised you an interview on safety and risk management with one of the leading authorities on the subject, Ranger Richard (Dick) Powell, now head of risk management for the NPS and also famous for the capture of the mass murderer, Charles Manson at Death Valley.

Unfortunately, Dick was taken seriously ill and has other concerns than interviews at the present time, so we shall reschedule the interview hopefully for issue #293.

We shall therefore substitute a discussion of the safety issues concerning the results of bigotry on God's part.

Golda Meir, former Prime Minister of Israel, once famously observed that in light of the travails of Israel "Perhaps God is an anti-Semite."

Actually, God REALLY dislikes Celts. Because we are Melanin challenged, the moment we step out of our cave or stone hut, God's Death Ray, the Sun, immediately zaps us. This is particularly true if we venture very far south of the Arctic Circle where The Lord apparently expected us to remain until Judgment Day.

As a Celt, (or a Nordic) You can and must worship at the Shrine of Plus 50 UVA/UVB sun block, ritually anointing your exposed (the lesser the better) skin every morning before you venture forth. Accept no sunscreens that promise you a "healthy" tan. There is no such thing as a healthy tan unless it is acquired genetically. In addition, you must wear a broad brimmed hat, the broader the better AND, if possible, a bandana for neck protection. We realize that the bandana part is difficult, as you will unavoidably resemble one of those guys who never got over being a Boy Scout. (You must learn to put up with those "Have you done your good deed today" queries, but you will thwart skin cancer.) An alternative to the cowboy hat and bandana is The Garden Hat, or Grand Dork. It is a ventilated hat with a huge bill that tapers back to a cloth that hangs down the back and protects your neck. It is called the Garden Hat, as that is the only place you can wear it without looking like you just fell off the turnip wagon.

What are the penalties for failure to wear a hat and skin protection? Severe, neighbors, severe. There is the Mohs Procedure and its alternative, Death.

"You have the very best cancer"! My dermatologist said brightly, it is easy to treat, if caught early, and the prognosis is almost always favorable. We will do the Mohs Procedure.

The medical profession prefers to call it "The Mohs Procedure" rather than the more precise "We'll skin you alive Procedure" for the same reason the CIA preferred to call simulated drowning "water boarding".

The theory behind the Mohs Procedure is not much different from that of a carpenter dealing with dry rot in a roof; you keep cutting out the bad wood until you encounter nothing but good wood.

I was told it could be over in an hour or two, then again it could take all day.

The Procedure proceeded in a series of sessions. The session consisted of perhaps 20-30 minutes of peeling skin, which was dispatched to a pathology lab for examination while I was dispatched to a waiting room to wait for 40 minutes until the pathology report was complete. I flunked the first session. Still cancerous cells on the outer margin. Try again. No success with the second session, still no end in sight. The Procedure did smart, but the pain was certainly bearable. It did, however, wear you down. By the end of the 6th session, I was ready to reveal the location of the Weapons of Mass Destruction.

I asked about how long this would go on. "Ten is the record for this hospital," he replied in a competitive tone "You're a good candidate!"

Fortunately, six was the winning number and no more melanoma cells.

Advanced Melanoma is quickly fatal, so to avoid that alternative or the Mohs Procedure, remember the Australian rules for Celtic survival: Slip, Slap, and Slop. (Slip on a shirt, slap on a hat, and slop on sunscreen.)

Have a safe and healthy summer, and get a check up from your dermatologist in the fall.


THE UNITED NATIONS AND THE BLACK HILLS

Thunderbear.Now there are many things that agitate my archconservative relatives back home in South Dakota.

One of them is the United Nations. My uncles and many cousins are sure there are blue helmeted UN troops just over the next ridge, waiting to pounce at the first wavering of American sovereignty.

The UN faithfully does its part to reinforce their paranoia by coming up with an annual laundry list of "When will you stop beating your wife?" requests of the U.S.

The first request is "Decolonizing Puerto Rico"; that we fess up to being an evil, colonial power and set poor Puerto Rico free. Now while there are a number of anti Puerto Rican bigots in the U.S who would love to grant the UN's wish, that doesn't seem to be the wish of the Puerto Ricans, who in vote after vote, have expressed their wish to maintain the current Commonwealth status, though there is a growing movement for statehood. (Which places Republicans in the unusual position of supporting the UN as Puerto Rico would provide an enthusiastically left wing liberal Congressional delegation.)

Then there is the UN's desire to revisit our rather highhanded acquisition of Hawaii by American businessmen and explore the need for the sovereignty of the Native Hawaiians,

However, it is the latest UN maneuver that will set my relatives off: This one really hits close to home.

It seems that the UN is sending a "Special Rapporteur" to South Dakota who will "study" the question of how and when the Black Hills can be returned to the Lakota tribe of Native Americans. The "Special Rapporteur", James Anaya, will deliver his report to the UN this September.

"Special Rapporteur" is one of those high falutin', French-fried phrases that is guaranteed to send my relatives into an anti-UN tirade.

A "Special Rapporteur" is someone appointed by the UN to investigate some evil or problem that the UN believes needs investigating such as torture or decolonization (or the slowness thereof) My relatives will be grudgingly pleased to learn that the "Special Rapporteur" is a volunteer position and that their hard earned tax dollars are not being used to grease the transfer of The Black Hills back to the Lakota. (The term "Rapporteur" was not designed to confuse or irritate my relatives, but is just a relic from the time when French was the language of Diplomacy and most of the educated upper crust of the world was familiar with it)

James Anaya is an American citizen of Native American ancestry and a distinguished jurist. He is a Regent Professor and James J. Lenoir Professor of Human Rights Law at the University of Arizona. He is, however, not exactly a disinterested observer and his September report to the UN will be a foregone conclusion.

The Fort LaramieTreaty of 1868 guaranteed ownership of The Black Hills to the Lakota people pretty much forever. The Treaty has the same emotional resonance with the Lakota as the Balfour Declaration of 1917 permitting the establishment of a Jewish state had for the Jews. In short, you promised.

In addition, none other than the U.S. Supreme Court has stated that "Yup! We stole the Black Hills from the Lakota in violation of the treaty good and proper."

Thunderbear.Now violating treaties or stealing land is not too unusual in the Kleptomanic history of Uncle Sam. As late as the early 20th century, Theodore Roosevelt ran off with a large chunk of Columbia, which he transmogrified into Panama and a site for a canal.

Now Kleptomaniacs are not wicked or evil people; they just can't help themselves, and often show remorse or guilt.

For example, after shoplifting two fifths of Mexico, Uncle Sam realized that wasn't nice, and slipped Mexico 15 million dollars in conscience money (but kept the Southwest.) We also gave Columbia 25 million dollars to forget about Panama.

So, when the Supreme Court decided that Uncle Sam had indeed stolen the Black Hills from the Lakota, it was expected that Congress would express ritual remorse and pungle up some money to the destitute Native Americans and that would be that.

Congress did offer the Lakota over $100 million, which through the magic of compound interest, has grown to $757 million and rising, but wonder of wonders, the Lakota turned them down. They wanted their Black Hills back.

That would prove to be a pretty tall order.

Now if the Lakota had wanted the Big Horn Mountains of Wyoming back (My choice for a Holy Land, neighbors!) Congress might be been able to oblige, as the Big Horns are mostly undeveloped wild or wilderness land controlled by the US Forest Service or the Bureau of Land Management.

The Black Hills is a different kettle of snakes. Compared to say The Big Horns, a considerable portion of the Black Hills is now in private ownership, which means that portion is off the table as far as returning it to the Lakota. In addition, there have been some changes since 1868.

The Black Hills are no longer pristine, but have been transformed into the biggest tourist trap this side of the Catskills. There are all manner of "frontier towns", reptile gardens, rock shops, zoos, rodeos, The Biggest motorcycle rally in the world at Sturgis and if you don't like motorcycles, there was, until 2009, The Black Hills Passion Play The last three days of the Life of Jesus, performed nightly in the summer in a 6,000 seat amphitheatre at Spearfish, then there's the largest gold mine in the Western Hemisphere at Lead and so on.

In spite of all this touristy and industrial jimcrackery, the Lakota would like to have their mountains back.

Since the private lands are off the table, this leaves the public lands, Federal and State.

The Federal Lands consist of the 1.25 million acre Black Hills National Forest, the 1,347 acre Devils Tower National Monument, The 28,059 acre Wind Cave National Park, 1,274Jewel Cave National Monument and the 1,274 acre Mount Rushmore National Memorial. The state lands consist of the 71,000 acre Custer State Park and the much smaller Bear Butte State Park.

All features of the Black Hills are sacred to the Lakota, but some points are more sacred than others. For example, Jewel Cave National Monument does not figure in Lakota cosmology and for obvious reasons, the Lakota are not much interested in Mount Rushmore National Memorial (Abe Lincoln, for example, allowed some 35 Lakota to be hanged, albeit for war crimes).

Wind Cave National Park is important to the Lakota because it is the source of the Lakota people; that is where they surfaced into this world; their creation story, which is just as plausible as burning bushes or golden tablets.

Bear Butte is sacred not only to the Lakota, but to as many as 17 other plains tribes. The Trust for Historic Preservation lists Bear Butte as among the 11 most endangered historic sites in America due to a bewildering number of threats from helicopter tours, proposed shooting ranges, biker bars, resorts, oil and gas development and the rest of the 21st century effluvia.

Devil's Tower is perhaps second only to Bear Butte as a Lakota sacred site, so much so, the NPS asks mountaineers not to climb the tower during June, the high point of Lakota religious observance.

The spectacular needles area of Custer State Park has a number of sacred sites as well and I suspect the Lakota would dearly like to have them.

So far, the Lakotas have been a bit vague on what exactly; they would do with the Black Hills if they were returned to them. At the moment, it is a fully operational industrial tourist trap, dependent entirely on the vacation whims of a largely white working class clientele drawn from the Upper Midwest. It is a rather precarious, hardscrabble way to eke out a living in the absence of oil and gas. Could the Black Hills prove to be a 60 x 120 mile White Elephant to the Lakota? Perhaps, Perhaps not.

Thunderbear.At any rate, that is beside the point. Sometime in September, the UN "Rapportuer" will make his report and suggestions to the UN and our ambassador; Susan Rice will be bound to reply.

This is rather mischievous on the part of the United Nations, particularly in an American election year. Ambassador Rice will be faced with a number of choices, all unpleasant; she can knuckle under to UN demands that we turn at least the public lands of the Black Hills over to the Lakota, enraging the Republicans and many environmentalists, or she can state that God was being a bit na•ve and dogmatic about that "Thou Shalt Not Steal" stuff, particularly on whether it applied to Americans.

More than likely, she will take the third or diplomatic course of thanking Mr. Anaya for his work (He did put in 12 whole days; plus writing up his report, and he was a volunteer as we say in the NPS), praising his incisive reasoning and stating that such a ground breaking study deserved yet another study before a comment could be made and she was appointing a blue ribbon committee to do just that, with results due about, oh, 2016.

Actually, both the NPS, the Forest Service, and the South Dakota State Parks have made a real effort to see that the religious access needs of the Lakota and other Native American groups have been met. Inyan Kara, a sacred mountain about 20 miles south of Devils Tower, (which itself might need a return to the Lakota name) is public land (Forest Service) but is surrounded by private land, so an entrance easement needs to be purchased for both the Lakota and the general public.

No one has said so yet, but it is probably a good idea that "Custer State Park" be changed to "Lakota State Park" (Or "Red Cloud State Park" if you needed an individual.) That will REALLY set off my relatives, who are among the last of the supporters of the Colonel.

It seems rather strange that a Lakota should pay a fee to see or use something stolen from him/her. Perhaps we need a "Golden Lakota" Passport issued at no charge to waive entry fees at state or federal Black Hills Parks.

As for the United Nations, we too can be mischievous; one of the irritating aspects of the UN is its pompous hypocrisy. A significant number of its membership are vicious, tyrannical dictatorships on the Syrian or North Korean model. Our ambassador might approach the Indian Ambassador to the UN and suggest that perhaps there is need for a "sanitized" or "adult" UN, and that since India is the world's largest democracy, that India might be willing to host a "Congress of Democracies", countries with a track record of free elections and the usual freedoms one associates with a democracy, but are not apparent in many member states of the United Nations.

The headquarters for this UN alternative could be the pleasant little resort town of Simla in the Himalayan foothills. India would be flattered and honored and we would see how the UN General Assembly likes those apples.


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Image credits:
Elephant Seal Video - youtube.com
Lakota Map - img169.imageshack.us
Robert M. Danno - profile.ak.fbcdn.net
SafetyBear - WebHarmony LLC composite
U.N. Flag - unmikonline.org
U.N. Free Zone -un-freezone.org
Worth Fighting For - amazon.com
© Copyright 2012 by P. J. Ryan, all rights reserved.

PJ Ryan can be reached at:
thunderbear123@gmail.com.