DEUS EX MACHINA
Readers who have been breathlessly following our NPS serial, "The Perils of Ranger Jane" in the previous installments of #252 and #253, will be delighted to learn that we have a happy ending: Ranger Jane has been saved in the nick of time!
It was a real cliff hanger because it was true life NPS drama, where the villains tie the fair maiden to the bureaucratic railroads tracks and several trains usually run over her before the IG yawns sleepily, and allows as how something might be amiss, and no one in a white hat rides to the rescue on any color horse.
As you will remember, Ranger Jane got into trouble when she decided to blow the whistle on the Chief Ranger of her park for downloading pornography all the live long day on the government computer. Now Ranger Jane was not a bible thumping prude, but the last straw was laid on when the Chief Ranger convinced his buddy, the Superintendent, that he was overworked and that some of his work load should be transferred to --you guessed it! Ranger Jane!
Enough was enough and Ranger Jane entered the CR's office with two witnesses, one a computer expert, and down loaded the last file the CR had been working (or salivating) on. Turned out not to be a plan for the restoration of the Piping Plover.
Ranger Jane confronted the Superintendent with the evidence and the super suspended the CR for three days for downloading pornography and misuse of a government computer--and then suspended ranger Jane for two days for ALSO down loading pornography (Technically correct, Watson!)
Now as we remarked in an earlier issue of THUNDERBEAR, this is the sort of "witty" Solomonic decision that a certain type of NPS administrator loves to make, and then chortle over with beer and the boys at the superintendents conference ("Showed that smartass broad who's boss!").
Although a two day suspension may not sound like much to a civilian, it amounts to a critical break in service, which allows future prospective employers and supervisors to ask all sorts of impertinent questions ("Are you still looking at dirty pictures?") and get away with it. Jane's career future was severely compromised, if not ended, should this judgement havc stood.
For a time it looked like Ranger Jane was SOL. She appealed to Region, but Region had that time encrusted answer that is as old as bureaucracy: "Now then, if we went around reversing the decisions of our managers, forsooth! What would happen? Why, the very links in the Sacred Chain of Command would become corroded and rusty! We might lose our anchor and set the Agency upon the rocks! Would you, Could you, desire that to happen?
So suck it up and live with it!"
Jane was understandably despondent. Then suddenly, out of nowhere came a DEUS EX MACHINA!
A "Deus ex Machina" is a hoary old theatrical gimmick that was new in the Greek dramas of 2500 years ago, but is no longer used (except by President Bush's speech writers) because it is so corny and unbelievable.
In the old Greek plays, when the playwright had painted himself into a corner and the plot was impossibly confused and it looked like there was no solution and no way out, an actor dressed to resemble one of the Greek Gods would be lowered by block and tackle onto the stage and solemnly sort things out for the Mere Mortals and then be hauled back into heaven. (Like I say, it's kind of corny!)
But a "Deus ex Machina" is exactly what happened in the case of Ranger Jane. Suddenly, a new superintendent was appointed! He was a nice guy! He was fair minded! He was Just! (I told you this "Deus ex Machina" stuff was pretty unbelievable, but trust me. It's true!) The new superintendent reviewed the evidence in Jane's case and pronounced the case against Ranger Jane to be an incredible load of codswallop. He then ordered the charges against her to be dropped. He ordered the two days of lost pay and benefits to be reinstated. He ordered the "offense" to be expunged from her records.
In fairness to Ranger Jane's pluck and determination, she had prepared her case well and gave the new superintendent plenty to work with. It is well worth quoting from her "Statement of Facts and Issues" to the Merit Systems Protection Board:
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During Ranger Jane's interview with her visibly angry previous superintendent that superintendent stated
- "Surfing pornography during work time on a government computer is not against the law, but merely against policy. Therefore I was wrong to contact the IG, as they are only interested in criminal wrongdoing."
- He informed me that he had an interview with the Chief Ranger the day before and instructed him to clean off his hard drive.
- He stated that I did not have the right to enter the Chief Ranger's office or access his computer
- He felt that entering the Chief Ranger's office and accessing his computer was a very serious offense, as the Chief Ranger is a supervisor (not mine) and immediately threatened to punish me with some kind of personnel action, possibly a suspension, for what I had done.
- He asked me a number of times for the names of the other employees involved in calling the IG, but I refused to divulge them.
Ranger Jane obtained a copy of POLICIES ON LIMITED USE OF GOVERNMENT EQUIPMENT AND TELEPHONE USE. According to these policies there is nothing prohibiting government equipment from being accessed by coworkers, either with or without their permission. On the contrary, we are reminded every weekday when we log onto our computers that there is no expectation of privacy on government computers....The Chief Ranger clearly violated Department of Interior Policy which states "Employees are prohibited from using Government office equipment at any time , for activities that are illegal, or that are inappropriate or offensive to coworkers or the public, such as the use of sexually explicit material..." On the 29th of September, Ranger Jane sent THUNDERBEAR an e-mail that ended with the joyous, heartfelt paean
" I won! I won! I won! I won! I wo-on! I WON!Color me GLOATING!....
Ranger Jane"
The problem remains that an NPS employee should not have to depend on a "Deus Ex Machina", a Nice Guy or Gal, to show up at exactly the right time in order to get justice. The tendency toward justice should be built into the system regardless of whether the official is Simon Legree or Mother Teresa or whether some bureaucrat feels magnanimous at any given moment.
It is nice that Ranger Jane's new superintendent is a "Nice Guy", but he should not have to be nice. Being noble all the time is hard work. (Does your staff often compare you to Jesus Christ? Do they lay palm fronds in front of you when you come to work? Do you want them to?)
The system finally worked, but sluggishly and grudgingly and only when pushed along by Ranger Jane and with expert gumshoe work by her gadfly union rep.
"There must be a better way, lads!" as the cave man said to his mates as they contemplated carrying the dead ground sloth on their backs or inventing the wheel.
Perhaps you can suggest that better way? If you can, we'll be glad to print your suggestion in THUNDERBEAR.
WHY DO FBI GIRLS HAVE ALL THE FUN?
Suppose, for sake of argument, that you are a Chief of Resource Management in a middling sized national park somewhere Out West.
It is autumn. The aspen look like cascades of Spanish doubloons, the bull elk are calling like flutes in a forest symphony. The summer visitation season has ended. It is time for reflection on the next fiscal year.
You pour yourself a cup of coffee before daring to look at the spread sheet and the cuts in your budget.
Suddenly, the superintendent bursts into your office, face flushed, eyes flashing with excitement.
"I just got a call from Washington! The Secretary of the Interior and the Director of the Park Service are going to pay the park a surprise visit! They will arrive this coming Tuesday, they will want a photo op to show the Administration's concern for the environment and they want to talk to the staff! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Could be worse." You say, cryptically.
"What do you mean "could be worse?" the superintendent asks quizzically.
"Shakespeare's 'MacBeth' had to contend with three witches, the Department of Interior has to deal with only two" you parry.
The superintendent lets it slide (The classics are not his strong point) " I'll have the Rotarian Marching Band escort Ms Norton and Ms Mainella to the site of the new petting facility and they can be photographed breaking ground.
"The new petting facility"? You say, leaving the question mark hanging mid air "This is the first I've heard of that. What is it?"
"It will help make the park self sustaining." The superintendent said importantly. "Americans like to photograph their children petting wild animals or sitting on them. They will be able to do it safely in our new petting enclosure. Naturally, we will charge them for the service, but the experience will be priceless."
"Um, I don't recall doing a NEPA on this." you counter.
"No need!" The superintendent says with a huge wink. "Gale knows how to cut red tape!. We'll be doing it through the new concessioner!"
"New concessioner?" you gasp. The whole morning has been a revelation to you; a sort of bureaucratic epiphany.
No matter. Tuesday, Gale Norton & Fran Mainela arrive on schedule. Things go tolerably well. The Rotarian Marching Band plays the G.O.P. Fight Song as Gale & Fran are photographed turning over a few shovels of dirt for the new petting facility. No one is injured.
After refreshments, the park staff and Gale & Fran retire to the James G. Watt Memorial Auditorium for questions & answers.
Secretary Norton strides to center stage and briskly gets the discussion under way.
"DOES ANYONE HERE KNOW THE FOUR "C's" OF THE NEW ENVIRONMENTALISM? She asks kindly, with only a hint of condescension.
Well now! That's an easy one! The four C's represent the four new ways of doing things in the Department of Interior, replacing the old, tired bureaucratic ways.
"I KNOW! I KNOW!" you shout, waving your hand like the grade school honor student you once were.
Gale smiles and calls on you.
You rise, face the stage with your best teacher's pet expression and loudly exclaim:
"THE FOUR "C's OF THE NEW ENVIRONMENTALISM ARE (pregnant pause) CORRUPTION, CONSPIRACY, CHICANERY, AND CONNECTIONS!
At first there is stunned silence, then pandemonium breaks out.
The superintendent buries his head in his hands and weeps as his vision of a Yellowstone superintendency slips away.
Fran points a transfixing finger and glares at you as she shouts "YOU ARE OUTSOURCED! NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR WHO YOU ARE, YOU ARE OUTSOURCED!" Gale glowers, points at you, and shouts to the confused Chief Ranger "GUARDS! SEIZE HIM!" All is chaos.
Well now, neighbors, we all know that such a scenario is unlikely to go down as the National Park Service is a conservative, well mannered bureaucracy. Any dissent must be passed up the Chain of Command for approval, (As seasonal ranger Robert Jackson discovered in Yellowstone. After all, you can't run a bureaucracy if everyone is not on the same page and singing the same note?
Or can you? We must refer to the uninhibited, free-spirited members of the FBI, who take the First Amendment seriously, brook no suppression of Freedom of Speech and say whatever comes to mind in defense of the country no matter how powerful the opposition.
Huh? The FBI?
Now neighbors, the FBI has been called many things over the years, but being a federal branch of the American Civil Liberties Union is not one of them.
But that might be changing.
You may remember FBI agent Colleen Rowley, she of the serious eye glasses and serious face, who blew the whistle on the FBI for thwarting an investigation that might have stopped the 9/11 terror attacks.
Agent Rowley is still with the FBI and is still a gadfly. Most recently, in between chasing bank robbers or whatever, she wrote an editorial for the MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE in which she lambasted the Bush administration for eroding civil liberties. She said the "us versus them" mentality in fighting terrorism is intimidating Americans and fueling anti-Arab feelings.
She disagreed with Attorney General John Ashcroft's recent assertion that "America is freer today than at any time in the history of human freedom."
According to the WASHINGTON POST "It is rare for an FBI agent to publicly criticize an attorney general, who is the nation's top law enforcement officer. Rowley said she received prepublication clearance from FBI headquarters. FBI spokesman Bill Carter said agents have free speech rights."
Now, neighbors, we are left with the inescapable conclusion that park rangers DON'T have free speech rights. (At least not on the rather luxuriant level the FBI agents seem to possess.) Agent Rowley was not complaining that she needed a bigger magazine for her machine gun or that she needed a bigger, faster pursuit vehicle.. She was complaining rather bluntly about her bosses, ie George Bush and John Ashcroft.
Why indeed should FBI girls have all the fun in blowing the whistle? Why can't your average presently employed NPS ranger simply write an editorial attacking the destructive environmental policies of the Bush administration, and after dutifully clearing it with region, send the editorial to the local newspaper for publication?
Why not indeed? But perhaps we are being too harsh on the administration. Perhaps an NPS employee really DOES have as much freedom as an FBI agent. Perhaps we have been guilty of self censorship all these many years. Perhaps that freedom of speech was there all along and we just didn't think we had it! Wouldn't that be sad? There is one way to find out, neighbors. We need volunteers! Folks presently employed by the NPS on a permanent basis, preferably superintendents, Chief Rangers, Resource Managers; people who are willing to write an editorial criticizing the environmental policies of the Administration, send it up to Region for approval, and, once approval has been granted, ship it on to the local paper for publishing. Simple, No? We should be able to find out where we stand, First Amendment wise.
Thinking that there might be a possible flaw in my reasoning, I called up Jeff Ruch, Executive Director of PEER (Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility) an outfit that is the premier defender of whistleblowers in government land management & science.
I outlined my idea and asked Jeff what he thought of it.
There was an incredulous pause and then Jeff said:
"Are you trying to drum up business for us?"
Actually, I had stimulated Jeff's First Amendment reflex; something he and PEER are very much interested in. According to Jeff, PEER does quite a few brown bag luncheons with federal employees for the purpose of pointing out to them that they didn't sign away half their Bill of Rights freedoms when they took a federal job (though much of agency "orientation" leads the new employee to believe that he/she has no first amendment rights and that he/she must row the agency galley to the beat of the agency drum for the next thirty years with nary a dissenting murmur)
Au contraire, according to Jeff. Federal employees have more job rights than civilian employees. In most states, non civil service employment is "at will". That is, the employer may discharge an employee for just about any whimsical reason, except for race, gender or sexual orientation.
For example, you own a shoe store and you discover that a long term employee is a closet Chicago Cubs baseball fan who sincerely believes that the Cubs will one day win the World Series. Naturally, you fire the employee as he is obviously delusional and a loser and you can't have either on your staff. Does the employee have any recourse? Not if your store is in an "at will" state (the vast majority)
But we have civil service protection,so, why are we so timid? (At least in comparison to the FBI lassie?) Part of the answer may be institutional and/or historical. The NPS looks back with rather fond memories of the park's army heritage (uniforms, the hat, the chain of command.) The military has a visceral dread of insubordination. They call it mutiny. Perhaps this history has something to do with the NPS's rather overdeveloped follow-the-leader mentality.
Speaking of the FBI agent, Colleen Rowley, how did she get away with it? On Sunday, she very publicly told the world that the President of the United States and one of his chief flunkies were full of crap. Then, on Monday, she got out of bed, put her badge and pistol in her purse and went off for another happy, productive day at the FBI and nobody said anything more confrontational than "Hi, Colleen". I mean, how does she get away with it?
My curiosity unslaked, I put the above question to Jeff.
"It's quite simple", Jeff replied. "Colleen Rowley doesn't work for John Ashcroft, she works for us, the American people. If she sees a problem, she has an obligation to point it out to us." Jeff went on to point out that some whistleblowers are more equal than others, due to publicity. Rowley was well known among the media and politicians, particularly, the powerful Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Ia). This makes her relatively immune to the sort of censure that might befall an obscure NPS resource management technician who points out that his superintendent-emperor not only has no clothes, but has not filed a NEPA on a dubious project.
According to Jeff, "It is well established law that the government agency can have a designated "official spokesperson" , the park public affairs officer or the superintendent, who will express the official point of view, and to whom media inquiries are to be directed. An undesignated employee may not usurp the function of the "official spokesperson" of the agency. This would constitute insubordination and is actionable.
HOWEVER, the employee has NOT surrendered his/her First Amendment rights. He/she may still express an opinion, but may NOT use government time or equipment to do so. The employee must also state that the opinions expressed are his/her own and do not reflect the policy of the agency.
"Therefore", continued Jeff, "Gag orders such as the one proposed in the Rocky Mountain Region, requiring regional clearance of all speech and publications are very probably unconstitutional."
"Also" Jeff added mischievously, "It also raises the question of whether the Rocky Mountain Region is less free than say, the Western Region". (This conjures up the image of an NPS version of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" in which Ranger Liza flees across the ice into the Western Region to escape the censorship of the wicked Director of the Rocky Mountain Region!).
Generally speaking, Jeff advises against direct confrontation unless one is as high profile (and truculent) as Colleen Rowley.
"There are other methods as outlined in The Book" Jeff said modestly. (The Book is "The Art of Anonymous Activism: Serving the public While Surviving Public Service" which can be obtained for $10.00 at PEER,2001 S street, NW, Washington, DC 20009. Ranger Jane heartily endorses the book)
I thanked Jeff for his free seminar on the First Amendment and hung up, very much the wiser.
However, we are left with the residual NPS tendency of blind obedience to a "superior" that is left over from the military days.
But does not resistance to the Bush regime constitute some sort of insubordination or even mutiny?
Well no, it doesn't
As that beloved Bullmoose Republican, Theodore Roosevelt remarked in 1918, during the First World War:
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
So it is your duty to resist. Do it cheerfully with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart.
OUR DOPE PROBLEM
Neighbors, I was just as shocked as you to find that our beloved Rush Limbaugh was a closet dope fiend!
Like you and President Bush, I had long depended on Rush to tell me all I needed to know about morality, politics and current events as I drove around in my pickup truck, my head nodding in silent agreement with Rush as he bashed "eco-freaks" and feminazis".
Rush reserved much of his righteous indignation for the degenerates who ingested controlled substances. He strongly believed that the shortest way with them was to have them flogged through the village streets and pilloried on the courthouse lawn for the moral edification of the school children.
Now am I gloating at Mr. Limbaugh's comeuppance? Not particularly. He seems to have been a victim of circumstances partially beyond his control.
Rush, however was caught his hand in the pill jar, his humiliation for all to see.
Now Mr. Limbaugh is an intelligent man and will undoubtably learn a great deal from his stay in the Shady Brook Rehabilitation Center. I suspect that in addition to learning about his own addiction, he will learn a great deal about the problem of drugs in America.
First of all, he will learn that he is a very lucky man indeed. If he had not come equipped with money and a white skin, he would not be voluntarily checking himself into a "program" If he were a few shades darker or a poor White, no soul searching decision would have been required, he would have been chucked into the Gray Bar Hotel for a term dependent on the whimsy of the judge and jurisdiction.
He will learn that yes, drugs are a very serious problem in America and the rest of the world. He will learn that the drug trade not only destroys lives but (Republican complaint!) distorts and warps the economies of whole nations, making legitimate investment and development all the more difficult. Rush already knew that drug producers and peddlers were not your better sort of Rotarian, but he will learn how bad they really can be and how they could be used to bring some really unpleasant people and things into this country.
Rush will also learn that the drug trade is very hard on the environment in general and national parks in particular, both in the growing and transport of the drugs. (Rush is unlikely to give a rat's rectum about this facet of the problem, but it is an important part of the drug problem.)
Hardly a day goes by without the NPS MORNING REPORT detailing a high speed cross country pursuit of drug transporters through Organ Pipe National Park, with rocks and native vegetation flying. On the rare off days, there usually the report of the arrest of a patient marijuana farmer in Sequoia or Yosemite National Park, whose farming efforts have mechanically and chemically disrupted the local environment around his crop.
Nor is the growing and transport problem limited to a few parks. Marijuana is a remarkably climatically catholic plant One can appreciate its common nickname "weed". It can be grown anywhere there is light, water, warmth, nutrient and, above all, privacy.
Your kindly editor remembers a sojourn in Alaska in which I was invited to dinner by a sociable young lady. Dessert was to be brownies, and did I like mine plain or fancy? Now, back in South Dakota, "fancy" would mean with walnuts, but in that part of Alaska, it meant that the brownies were baked with the local variety of marijuana. Fortunately, I was curious enough to ask and she was polite enough of a hostess to tell me. (Thus I was able to maintain my status of being one of the few non-Mormon permanents never, ever to have ingested the Demon Weed.)
The dope problem in the parks and elsewhere has spawned some remarkably near sighted band aid solutions. "Well, Hell, if we only had more night vision goggles, 'n Humvees, 'n assault rifles, we could clean this mess up lickety-split, etc.etc".
The problem has inspired John Kyl, Arizona's dim bulb of a Greedhead Republican Senator (He is counterweight to Arizona's shining star of a Bullmoose Republican, Senator John McCain.)
Kyl asked that the Border Patrol be allowed off-road access to Organ Pipe National Monument, Cabeza Prieta National Wildlife Refuge, Buenos Aires National Wildlife Refuge, Coronado National Forest and the Bureau of Land Management lands east of Douglas, Arizona.
Senator Kyl may or may not have read the establishing legislation of these Department of Interior lands, but they were not established as sand traps for the capture of drug traffickers or illegal aliens. (In fairness to Senator Kyl, some over-enthusiastic NPS protection types make the same mistake.)
The problem of illegal aliens and the gruesome and tragic trail of mummified bodies of thirst victims in Organ Pipe can be solved with a decent and sane guest worker program.
The dope problem in the national parks and the rest of the United States is far more complex. It will require the decrimininalzation of dope, total domestic production and government monopoly.
You'll notice that is decrimininazation, not legalization. Uncontrolled use of a controlled substance would still be subject to legal sanctions.
Why should dope be decriminalized? Let us count the reasons. First and foremost is that the dope laws are criminally unfair.
As noted, Rush Limbaugh had a "bout" with oxycontin (the so-called "hillbilly heroin".
Robert F. Kennedy Jr, son of Bobby, and now head of the River Keepers, one of America's premier environmental groups, once had an "issue" involving addiction to the real McCoy, heroin.
Marc Weil, Chief of the Citigroup Banks $113 billion dollar investment portfolio and commanding an annual salary of $2 million, (plus benefits) was forced to resign his position due to a cocaine "problem".
Now neighbors, ordinary people like you and I would not have "bouts", "issues" or "problems". We would have jail terms.
We would have jail terms because our modest incomes would not cover the ever expanding cost of our drug of choice and we would resort to embezzlement or worse.
Neither Limbaugh, Kennedy, or Weil are violent men. Although the dope adversely affected their ability to function, their wealth allowed them to satisfy their drug needs without resorting to violence. On the other hand, all three men have rather powerful egos. They want to be taken seriously. No one takes a dope fiend seriously (Unless, of course, he is pointing a gun at you). Addicts tend to have a time and space distortion; this causes them to miss deadlines and deadlines are the Holy Grail of modern business life.
This desire to be taken seriously led both Kennedy and Weil to seek treatment, stop taking dope and turn their lives around. (I trust this will be the case with Rush Limbaugh.) This was accomplished in the wealthy person's manner with a (relatively) short intensive (and expensive) stay in a "clinic" rather than the poor person's method of 5-10 years in steel cages, orange jump suits, and homosexual rape. As usual, the wealthy person's method seems to be preferable.
Say that we agree to rehab programs rather than imprisonment, how would we stop the flood of dope coming into the country?.
Easy! Here's a trick from the Farm Belt. It's called "dumping". You heavily subsidize the production of a staple crop such as corn or cotton, increase production far beyond domestic needs and then "dump" the surplus on the international market.
It's a mean, dirty trick to play on a poor Mexican peasant corn farmer, but a deliciously funny trick to play on the dope cartels! With the proper farm subsidy, we should be able to get the cost of cocaine down to, oh, $15 a kilo; perhaps $2-$5 a kilo for Marijuana.
With the cost of dope below the cost of a bushel of Fuji apples, few members of the drug cartels would risk stiff prison sentences to smuggle dope into the country. Prison sentences? Yup, the import or export of dope to or from the United States would be very definitely illegal. You see, it would be Uncle Sam's dope and like Uncle Sam's currency, Uncle Sam would be downright nasty if anyone tried to compete with him.
But what government agency would produce and distribute Uncle Sam's dope?
That's easy! The Department of Interior.
But why the Department of Interior, you ask, incredulously.
Several reasons, neighbors. You see, drug addiction has always had a gritty sort of romantic glamour (at least as portrayed by Hollywood.)
Placing dope under the administration of the Department of Interior would certainly deglamourize it and make it the dull, dreary affliction that it actually is.
More importantly, the Department of Interior would be the source of the dope.
Heroin, other opiates, and cocaine production are rather straight forward. You want the purest product you can produce. There are no brands or varieties in opiates or cocaine Opium poppies are a temperate zone crop and the entire medical and "recreational" requirements of the United States could be met by less than 100,000 acres of midwestern farm land.
Cocaine is a tropical crop and could be made the monopoly of Native Hawaiians either on retired sugar cane lands or on the island of Kahoolawe. (Kahoolawe, a desert island and former military target range was formally returned to the Native Hawaiians in 1993, but no one told them how they were going to make a living on such an island; a cocaine monopoly might be just the ticket, using hydroponic growing methods.
Marijuana production would be a more complex matter for the Department of Interior. There are an almost infinite variety of marijuana types, probably more so than even wine grapes.
Like wine lovers, marijuana users fuss over real and imagined differences in their favorite varieties. Unlike heroin or cocaine, where purity is the issue, the marijuana user would have to be given a real choice by the Department of Interior.
No problem. There are more than one hundred Indian reservations partially administered by Interior. Each tribe or band could specialize in a marijuana variety. The Lacotah might prefer to specialize in "Panama Red" while the Jicarilla Apaches might believe that "Columbian Gold" is the way to go, and so on.
No matter. Uncle Sam's dope would be grown, harvested, transported, and sold through Department of Interior outlets throughout the nation. (We will resist the mischievous possibility of giving the NPS visitor centers the retail monopoly as a way of boosting declining visitation)
The Department of Interior Dope outlet would be an educational center as well a drug outlet. It would offer a number of programs to end drug dependency. It would be non-judgmental and supportive, much like, say, Weight Watchers. In many cases, unlike prison, it would actually work. In other cases, the user would be self-condemned to a life of not being taken seriously. However, like Kennedy, Weil, and Limbaugh, most people want to be taken seriously, and in their own good time, will quit.
As for the economic, social, and political side, the program would virtually end poverty on America's Indian reservation, guaranteeing an interesting middle income job to every Native American both on and off the reservations. The entire program would be a closed domestic system; everything would be grown, sold and consumed in the U.S. No American dollars would flow overseas into shadowy, evil hands to fund God knows what. We would know exactly how much dope was produced and how much and what type was being consumed. We would at long last, have a handle on the problem. (There would also be the irony of allowing the Native Americans, who missed out on the multi-billion dollar profits of the tobacco industry to have a monopoly on dope)
Now, what are you supposed to do?
Well now, neighbors, as fellow Republicans, I want you to share this article with your Republican elected representatives and suggest that they adopt this armistice in our "war" on drugs.
"But no!" You demur "I am a respected law enforcement official; my conservative congressman would be shocked, shocked, that I would advocate such a thing!"
Don't be too sure.
For more than 20 years, William F. Buckley, doyen conservative columnist, editor of the equally conservative NATIONAL REVIEW, and terror of liberals, has pressed for the humanization of our drug laws.
Gary Johnson, recent Republican governor of New Mexico, and just returned from a successful climb of Mount Everest, remarked that "He had smoked a ton of dope, and it hadn't affected him physically or mentally." He has, however, stopped taking drugs, not because someone caught him at it, but because he felt it as waste of time.
According to Johnson "The federal anti-drug budget has climbed to 20 billion by the year 2000 with no diminution in the amount of purity of the drugs...As a nation we now have nearly half a million people behind bars on drug charges, more than the total prison population in all of Western Europe...Deaths attributable to marijuana are very rare. In fact deaths from all illegal drugs combined, including cocaine and heroin , are fewer than 20,000 annually. By contrast, more than 450,000 Americans die each year from tobacco or alcohol use (not counting drunk driving fatalities) Should we outlaw tobacco or alcohol?" (Been there, done that.)
So then, neighbor. Your Republican congressman just might surprise you! It's worth a try, if you'd like to get marijuana farmers and traffickers out of our parks.
COLTSVILLE NATIONAL HISTORIC SITE
Since the Greedhead Republican regime of George Bush is so Philistine in its usual approach to cultural as well as environmental affairs, it is often attacked even when it happens to be correct.
Recently, the Administration expressed favorable interest in a newly proposed NPS historic site commemorating Samuel Colt and his famous revolvers at Coltsville, Connecticut.
This favorable interest provoked an outcry from two well-meaning members of a dissident retired NPS employees organization. One member believed that a monument to the invention and manufacture of pistols would be typical of the Bush mentality. Another retiree huffed that if we had a monument for the Colt revolver, someone would want a monument for the atomic bomb, such as the Trinity Site, Los Alamos, Oak Ridge or Hanford.
Jerry Rogers, a former regional director and NPS cultural affairs specialist produced a thoughtful response on the subject of "correct" and "incorrect" history that is well worth considering:
It is important not to let frustrations lead us to positions that could be internally contradictory--we do not want to "meet ourselves coming around the corner," so to speak.
I know nothing about the Coltsville proposal, but I do know that Samuel Colt was at least as important as Eli Whitney or Henry Ford in the development of mass-production manufacturing methods which have changed most of the world.
Also , some of the Colt factory complex and the associated worker housing are well preserved. Colt arms were very important in the War with Mexico, the Civil War, the Indian Wars, on the 19th century Western frontier and thereafter. Whether we judge these things to be good or bad, the criteria for whether they should be preserved is significance and integrity.
In my career I have had to fend off attacks from both left and right over whether some place should be preserved because the history it represented was outrageous to someone. Woody Guthrie's home town is still proud that they destroyed his house---because his political views are anathema to them. A lot of people did not think we should commemorate Manzanar and the suspension of one class of Americans civil rights, nor that we should revise the interpretation at Custer Battlefield and change its name to Little Big Horn. There are many other examples of pressure to overlook certain parts of history and to glorify other parts.
The Service's job is not to preserve and interpret "good" history and to ignore "bad" history (doing so converts history into propaganda) anymore than our natural resource job is to preserve nice little herbivores instead of those awful carnivores. We have to judge potential new units on the basis of significance (which includes integrity, suitability, and feasibility) Otherwise our opponents may point out that we are judging things in the very ways they have long done.
By the way, I earnestly hope the day will come when some of the most significant resources on earth at Trinity, Los Alamos, Oak Ridge, and Hanford are preserved ---and interpreted in their complete truth."
---Jerry Rogers"Friends,
Well put, Jerry! The various units of the national parks offer an excellent form of continuing education on American culture and American history. Indeed, the Harvard historian, Dr. Robin Winks, famously observed that "The National Parks are a great university with 200 campuses stretching across the nation"
Unfortunately, Dr. Winks was being a bit optimistic or a bit premature in celebrating the NPS "University".
The NPS "University" has a very good biology department, a good geology department, a reasonably good archeology department, a fine military history department (particularly if you like forts and the Civil War) but it seems to lack much in the way of an American Studies Department; the examination of all the controversies that went into the shaping of America.
For example, we don't have a Jefferson Davis National Historic Site, though his ideas and philosophy led to those Civil War battles we so numerously commemorate.
We don't have a McCarthy Hearings National Historic Site even though the Senator from Wisconsin name has become a noun in the English language and the controversies rage to this day.
We don't have a Graceland National Historic Site, though it is said that the home of Elvis Presley has garnered more requests that it be made a national historic site than any other property in recent times
We do have a Carl Sandburg National Historic Site, but we don't have a Mark Twain National History Site, even though Ernest Hemingway (another candidate) said "He was the father of us all."
We do not have a Woodrow Wilson National Historic Site to explain the man who helped found the League of Nations, and who was a nasty racist, and who tossed the nation's leading socialist into prison, basically on "suspicion" nor do we have a Warren G. Harding Historic Site to help understand the life and times of that weak but kindly president who pardoned that same socialist.
We do not have an Organized Crime National Historic Site that would take you from the times of Edward Teach (Blackbeard) through the James Boys, John Dillinger, Al Capone and right up to the present days of Enron.
We do not have a highway and automobile historic site even though these two artifacts have changed American beyond imagination.
We do not have a Museum of American Atrocities National Historic Site in which all the truly awful things we have done over the years can be discussed.
We do not have a Country-Western Music Historic Site though this robust American art form is beloved by millions.
Some of these proposals are banal, amusing, or even disturbing, but they are only a few pieces of the mosaic of America that we should consider. You could come up with a dozen more at coffee break; some funny, some deadly serious, all rooted in American culture and history.
The important thing to remember is as Jerry Rogers pointed out, there is no "bad" history or "good" history, but just what happened and why.
Although our cowboy President may be favorable to Coltsville National Historic Site, so is liberal Presidential aspirant, Senator Joseph Liebermann (D-CT) who testified:
"When I think of what a national park means to me--a beautiful, historically significant place where people can come to find some measure of peace and personal enrichment--this site hits the bulls eye. As a pivotal part of our economic and cultural history and an eloquent expression of our values, Coltsville deserves recognition, protection, and canonization as a national park"
Although the NPS has several other park units, Springfield Arsenal NHS and Harpers Ferry NHS that deal with military firearms, Coltville NHS would be the only one to deal with civilian firearms--and an ongoing discussion of that elephant in the room of American political discussion, The Second Amendment of the Constitution of the United States.